Lindsay Lohan: No Contest Plea Over Tacky But Expensive Necklace
EVEN though she dressed like an Italian prostitute in court, spent years making everyone jealous by being stinkin’ rich and having sex with all manner of men and women, while (allegedly) indulging in amazing amounts of drink and drugs, Lindsay Lohan is going to give the doe-eyes and plead ‘no contest’ in court.
She’d pleading against misdemeanor theft tomorrow after a necklace went walkies on her famous, freckly neck. And while she’s very keen to point out how innocent she is, she isn’t actually going to court to fight her corner. In fact, she won’t be showing up at all.
The reason? Apparently it is the ‘cost and craziness associated with a Lindsay Lohan appearance’ (c/o TMZ) which is just too much for everyone to take. All that disrupting court and hiring extra Sheriff deputies… they’re just not worth it when dealing with justice itself.
This means Lindsay’s lawyer, Shawn Holley, will appear before Judge Stephanie Sautner to submit the plea, which will invariably be snapped and pounced upon by the world’s press anyway, on the off-chance that LiLo does decide to turn up or, indeed, take pictures and file reports saying “LOOK! SHE WASN’T THERE!”
Thanks to Lindsay pleading no contest, it means that she won’t have to go to a nasty prison (which probably looks exactly like Aussie drama, Prisoner Cell Block H), rather, spend the sentence sat at her massive, luxurious home playing video games with an electronic tag on her ankle.
Although, while all this reeks of treating someone differently because they’re famous, Judge Sautner is quite clear on the fact that Lindsay is being treated like any other defendant.
Oh, and she probably won’t have to serve 120 days. Lindsay is looking at 14 days at home, where all her nice, expensive things are kept.
*rattles tin cup along bars*