Charlie Sheen To Be Replaced By Ashton Kutcher To Make Two And A Half Men Most Loathesome Sitcom Ever
YOU may have thought that Two and a Half Men was pretty irritating when Charlie Sheen was in it. It was remarkable that Sheen somehow managed to become even more galling when he acrimoniously quit the show and spent his time coming up with personal memes, haranguing adult actresses, making women cry in cupboards, punching chandeliers and hoovering up suitcases of coke… and generally looking more hallowed out than the inside of a Shredded Wheat bisk.
Well, the makers of the dreadful sitcom have performed an impossible trick by finding the one man who walks this godforsaken planet who is more irritating than Sheen himself. And without the use of drugs.
Step forward, Ashton Kutcher!
That’s right, the American Dom Joly (brrr) and dopey star of That 70s Show is being lined up to be the star attraction in America’s biggest sitcom.
Kutcher pretty much confirmed his new job by tweeting:
“What’s the square root of 6.25?”
If you’re bad at maths, the answer to that is ‘2.5’. Y’know? Like Two and a Half Men? That guy is so zany! Well, he’d have to be to willingly have sex with his 400 year old, surgically enhanced wife, Demi Moore.
CBS and Warner Bros, who are behind the show, have been looking at some big names to replace Sheen, including Hugh Grant, and now they seem to have found their man.
Let us remember though that, as bad as Two and a Half Men is, it surely can’t be any worse than Dude, Where’s My Car? Can it?