Robbie Williams Empties His Nuts In Esquire: Take That Singer Breeds Semen Monkeys
We’d always believed Williams injected himself with a blend of ascorbic acid, Vimto and liquidised pork liver sausages. But the Sun says it IS a sex hormone.
Gordon Smart reads Williams’ interview with Esquire magazine and tells us on the Sun’s front page:
The TAKE THAT star, 37, said he uses testosterone jabs to fight crippling lethargy. He added: “It has changed my life. I feel I’m getting a second wind.”
It all depends where you inject yourself, and the size of the needle.
Says the singer:
“To cut a long story short I…”
Ho-ho. Only joking. Robbie. Go on:
“…went to get some HGH. [That’s Human Growth Hormone, readers.] It’s what all the old fellas are on out there in LA that’s making them look 40 instead of 60.”
That and the surgery, the lighting, the surgery and did we mention the surgery..?
“It’s improving their health, their memory, their hair, skin. Could give you cancer. I weighed that up. Thought I’d have it anyway. Went to see a Hollywood doctor. Had my blood tests. Went back. He said, ‘You don’t need HGH. You’ve got the testosterone of a 100-year-old man.’”
And he wants it back. (OK, we’ll stop. The contents of Robbie Williams’ testicles need to be treated with gravitas.)
After Williams has emptied his soul and his nuts to the press, he gets down to the matter of whether he would cheat on his wife?
“Actually, no, because I don’t want to break Ayda’s heart. That’s the last thing I want to do. I met Ayda, I fell in love, that’s what happened. But I would be way more tempted because at the end of the day I am a man, with the stuff that makes you a man – go forth and multiply. And multiply with absolutely everyone.”
The stuff that makes Williams a man turns out to be a sex hormone you can get in a Hollywood chemist.
At which point his wife Ayda Wiilliams “chipped in”:
“I can’t wait to have our little monkeys.”
She said it. You can buy those in a packet as well…