Reasons To be Cheerful: You Were ‘Scammed’ Out Of Take That Tickets And Missed The Olympic Kayaking
1. Your wife did not get tickets you bought over the web for Take That’s Progress Live tour. As such, you will not be dropping your lover off at a large soulless venue, picketing her up three hours later and being told that Jason Orange is “well fit” and Howard Donald could super-injunction her any time…
2. You did not get tickets for the Olympics kayaking, and will not be driving up to Eton Dorney lake to stand and watch men in bibs paddle like hyperactive children waving giant cotton wool bud in the distance.
3. You voted for Sepp Blatter to be Fifa president.