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Simon Cowell Vomited Into His Hand At Ronan Parke Fix Claims

by | 8th, June 2011

EMOTIONLESS Simon Cowell may seem, but there’s nothing wrong with his gut, as he produced enough bile to feel physically ill as claims of ‘FIX‘ swirled around him concerning warbling foetus, Ronan Parke.

That’s right. The desperately nauseous mogul felt ‘‘sick to the stomach” when an article claimed that 12-year-old Parke had already been earmarked as a winner for the wearisome Britain’s Got Talent – a show that also featured more than one elderly lady performing an erotic dance routine with some dogs.

Cowell said, blinding everyone within a 30 mile radius with his scorchingly white teeth:

“The most upsetting this was this poisonous email. It was so malicious and so anti this 12-year-old kid who couldn’t defend himself.”

“The fact there were people who thought it was a scam, or worse that it was true or a publicity job, made me feel sick to my stomach. I felt very sorry for him, I phoned his mum. It was a hammer blow.”

He added, wiping away the acid reflux that had begun to gather around the corners of his surgically enhanced gob:

We have to stop people who are able to hide behind being invisible and can make up lies about a kid which could have wrecked his life. If you read it in full he could have got beaten up or bullied. He could have lost his confidence. You can’t let people get away with this.

“I am prepared to stand up in court. That person should have the guts to speak in public bit won’t because it’s a lie.”

Those rotters of the internet who are able to not only be invisible, but actually hide behind it, making them invisible, squared. Amazing.

Of course, this will all blow over and Cowell will simply focus him efforts on Wand Erection or whatever those gyrating children were called on the last series of X Factor.



Posted: 8th, June 2011 | In: TV & Radio Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed: RSS 2.0 | TrackBack | Permalink