Kim Kardashian Had An ‘Affair’ With Someone You Haven’t Heard Of: Launches Perfume
MYSTIFYINGLY famous Kim Kardashian (she’s the Kardashian sister who had a sex tape online if you can’t tell them apart) is getting married soon, which is obviously wonderful news for all of us adoring fans. She’ll be looking at her vast piles of money and wondering how she’s going to spend it on her special day – unlikely to be her last ‘special day’ in fairness.
She’s blissfully in love with some chap called Kris Humphries, who is some kind of American sports personality, thereby, completely unheard of outside of the United States of America.
What could possibly go wrong?
Well, Kim K is currently going batshit mental at Bret Lockett who is saying that she was having an affair with him while she was with this Kris Humphries fella. Kardashian is saying that this is completely untrue, so much so, that she’s going to haul his basketball playing arse to court if he doesn’t retract his comments and cease from making fresh ones.
Lockett is claiming that he had an online and physical relationship with Kim this year. Does that mean there’s going to be ‘leaked’ photographs then? That’s surely what an ‘online relationship’ is all about, right?
Kim’s lawyer, Michael Kump, says:
“To put it very plainly and clearly, and as Mr. Lockett knows, there is not now, and never has been such a relationship. Ms. Kardashian does not know and has never even met Mr. Lockett.”
Lockett, however, says that he has physical evidence proving the relationship’s existence, but won’t go into that right now, presumably because no-one has offered him good money for it yet…
Maybe one day he will get his own eponymous scent. Time to scrape those bed sheets, Lockett…