Russell Crowe Is Foreskin Man: Actor Purges Twitter Of Baby-Cutting Jews
RUSSELL Crowe is making himself fa shoo-in for the role of Foreskin Man in the movie about the intactivists’ leader. Crowe has been on Twitter to talk about circumcision.
Russell says Foreskins are godly. Crowe says anyone who cuts them off is an inattentive parent. Right now millions of Jews are debating whether to go with God and thousands of years of history or follow Crowe.
God or Crowe? Crowe or God? Which is bigger? Which has a worse temper? Which is more likely to sing at your son’s Bar Mitzvah?
For as Crowe did sayeth:
Circumcision is barbaric and stupid. Who are you to correct nature? Is it real that GOD requires a donation of foreskin? Babies are perfect.
Not sure if God actually harvests the foreskin for a charity appeal. They are, after all, rarely as shiny as bottle tops. But we like the idea of using them for something. But for what? Your ideas, please.
Crowe goes on:
I love my Jewish friends, I love the apples and the honey and the funny little hats, but stop cutting your babies.
Stop cutting your babies. Stop drinking their blood. No, sorry, Russell, only kidding. He never said that. He’s not some Hollywood-addled Australian with a Jesus flick for Christ’s sake. He’s a Kiwi. Just stop cutting your kids, Jews. Ok!
I will always stand for the perfection of babies. I will always believe in God, not man’s interpretation of what God requires. Last of it, if you feel it is your right to cut things off your babies please unfollow and fuck off; I’ll take attentive parenting over barbarism.
You Jew barbarians are cutting your babies. No offence. But you Jews barbarians are cutting your babies. You are hereby banned from following Crowe. The Book, sorry, Tweet of Crowe is forbidden to you Jews.
Crowe then realises that calling Jews barbarian and baby cutters might be interpreted as him being a bigot.
I have a deep and abiding love for all people of all nationalities. I’m very sorry that I have said things on here that have caused distress. My personal beliefs aside I realize that some will interpret this debate as me mocking the rituals and traditions of others. I am very sorry.
You may interpret his calling Jews inattentive baby-cutting barbarians in funny litte hats the wrong way. He means nothing of the sort.
Now, would all Jew please get off Twitter. Foreskins only. Raus!
Spotter: UsWeekly
Posted: 10th, June 2011 | In: Celebrities Comments (13) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed: RSS 2.0 | TrackBack | Permalink
June 13th, 2011 at 10:30 am
Kathleen…I feel for your loss…
June 13th, 2011 at 7:06 am
Percy: “the facebook freedom fighters have done so much to bring about change & justice for the oppressed & persecuted of this world….it’s about time twitter joined the peoples revolution…..and maybe ….with Russell Crowe as our crowned head….we…the genitally mutilated…. can now rise up…. stand proud & claim back what is rightfully ours….”
somebody’s angry….. can’t seem to kick those nasty, old, stone-aged, habits? OCD’s are pretty hard to tame…..even if you aren’t living in the dark ages! Good Luck.
June 13th, 2011 at 6:57 am
I was genitally mutilated as a girl in Africa and I have a lot of respect for Russell Crowe twittering his outrage on this important & painful issue of excess vulva tissue.
I thought nobody else cared or understood about my longing for my long foregotten vulva flaps ….to know that Russell thinks so much of it too….somehow makes me feel not so lonely & small. Thanks Russell….I am truly touched by your feelings for my pork flaps…
June 12th, 2011 at 8:15 pm
Dear Stiggy….my pork sword may have no sheath but I assure you it is not pointless… & especially useful whenever I need to take a piss….but thanks for taking an interest in it anyway….
June 12th, 2011 at 5:55 pm
There are no parts of the human body that don’t serve a serious purpose in enhancing it’s survivability to child-bearing age.
.
Poor Percy’s pecker is pointless.
.
Spot on, C&C
June 12th, 2011 at 3:56 pm
and of course I meant ‘genital NOT gebital…’ I need a keyboard break.
Russell Crowe is a bit of a dick but he’s entitled to a whole one.
June 12th, 2011 at 3:43 pm
p.s. Seriously though…..in my opinion ….I think Crowe is a bit of a prick…
June 12th, 2011 at 3:22 pm
….the facebook freedom fighters have done so much to bring about change & justice for the oppressed & persecuted of this world….it’s about time twitter joined the peoples revolution…..and maybe ….with Russell Crowe as our crowned head….we…the genitally mutilated…. can now rise up…. stand proud & claim back what is rightfully ours….
June 12th, 2011 at 2:59 pm
I’m mostly with Russell Crowe.
Gebital mutilation of either sex under the guise of religion / ethnicity is so wrong and unnecessary.
June 12th, 2011 at 10:48 am
Being one who has been genitally mutilated as a baby I have a lot of respect for Russell Crowe twittering his outrage on this important & painful issue of excess todger tissue.
I thought nobody else cared or understood about my longing for my long foregotten foreskin ….to know that Russell thinks so much of it too….somehow makes me feel not so lonely & small.
Thanks Russell….I am truly touched by your feelings for my sausage skin…
June 12th, 2011 at 7:45 am
Thus is what passes for journalism these days? Really? REALLY? Stop putting words into the guy’s mouth. He never said Jews were “inattentive baby-cutting barbarians.” Whoever wrote this article should be fired.
June 11th, 2011 at 7:22 pm
It’s Roundheads versus the Cavaliers all over again!
June 11th, 2011 at 7:04 pm
DO YOU KNOW WHY CROWE APOLOGIZED? BECAUSE HE WAS BRANDED AS A NAZI BY THE JEWISH MEDIA. IT’S THE MOST EFFECTIVE WAY TO SHUT SOMEONE UP WHO THINKS THAT GENITAL CUTTING IS BARBARIC. DON’T BE FOOLED BY THE SMOKESCREEN. BABIES ARE BORN PERFECT. NO DISASSEMBLY REQUIRED!