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Russell Crowe Is Foreskin Man: Actor Purges Twitter Of Baby-Cutting Jews

by | 10th, June 2011

RUSSELL Crowe is making himself fa shoo-in for the role of Foreskin Man in the movie about the intactivists’ leader. Crowe has been on Twitter to talk about circumcision.

Russell says Foreskins are godly. Crowe says anyone who cuts them off is an inattentive parent. Right now millions of Jews are debating whether to go with God and thousands of years of history or follow Crowe.

God or Crowe? Crowe or God? Which is bigger? Which has a worse temper? Which is more likely to sing at your son’s Bar Mitzvah?

For as Crowe did sayeth:

Circumcision is barbaric and stupid. Who are you to correct nature? Is it real that GOD requires a donation of foreskin? Babies are perfect.

Not sure if God actually harvests the foreskin for a charity appeal. They are, after all, rarely as shiny as bottle tops. But we like the idea of using them for something. But for what? Your ideas, please.

Crowe goes on:

I love my Jewish friends, I love the apples and the honey and the funny little hats, but stop cutting your babies.

Stop cutting your babies. Stop drinking their blood. No, sorry, Russell, only kidding. He never said that. He’s not some Hollywood-addled Australian with a Jesus flick for Christ’s sake. He’s a Kiwi. Just stop cutting your kids, Jews. Ok!

I will always stand for the perfection of babies. I will always believe in God, not man’s interpretation of what God requires. Last of it, if you feel it is your right to cut things off your babies please unfollow and fuck off; I’ll take attentive parenting over barbarism.

You Jew barbarians are cutting your babies. No offence. But you Jews barbarians are cutting your babies. You are hereby banned from following Crowe. The Book, sorry, Tweet of Crowe is forbidden to you Jews.

Crowe then realises that calling Jews barbarian and baby cutters might be interpreted as him being a bigot.

I have a deep and abiding love for all people of all nationalities. I’m very sorry that I have said things on here that have caused distress. My personal beliefs aside I realize that some will interpret this debate as me mocking the rituals and traditions of others. I am very sorry.

You may interpret his calling Jews inattentive baby-cutting barbarians in funny litte hats the wrong way. He means nothing of the sort.

Now, would all Jew please get off Twitter. Foreskins only. Raus!

Spotter:  UsWeekly



Posted: 10th, June 2011 | In: Celebrities Comments (13) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed: RSS 2.0 | TrackBack | Permalink