Climate Nazi Richard Glover Teachers Stupid Americans About Irony
WHEN Richard Glover suggested that climate-change deniers be forcibly tattooed, he hit upon a great idea.
Surely it’s time for climate-change deniers to have their opinions forcibly tattooed on their bodies. Not necessarily on the forehead; I’m a reasonable man. Just something along their arm or across their chest…
Again. Great idea.
On second thoughts, maybe the tattooing along the arm is a bit Nazi-creepy. So how about they are forced to buy property on low-lying islands, the sort of property that will become worthless with a few more centimetres of ocean rise, so they are bankrupted by their own bloody-mindedness?
Again and again, his ideas are terrific. Because you do not agree with him you should be punished.
But then the nasties get wind of his plan to tattoo people who do not believe in the things he believe in. No-one thought to tell Glover that if you publish words on the internet, people who once had their arms forcibly tattooed for not believing the same as the experts might think you’re a bigoted Nazi.
After 25 years writing this column, I’ve had my first experience of an internet hate campaign.
You read your own words on the web?
So far, more than 2400 people, nearly all American, have emailed me. More emails come every time I hit the send/receive button. About 5 per cent contain threats of violence. Even stranger, quite a few threaten me with sexual violence. They say, in various forms, that they want to rape me.
Whereas a top bloke like Glover only wants to tattoo you, watch you drown and grind you and your family into poverty..?
Glover’s words went global.
Suddenly I was the toast of town: about 300,000 people read the piece on smh.com.au between Sunday night and Tuesday morning. I had more readers than anyone else in the Herald. Only problem was: many of them wanted to kill me.
Poison gas? A hoe to the head? A beheading? How would you kill a stranger who disagrees with you, Glover?
I’m not going to argue that Americans don’t understand irony; American comic writing can be as sophisticated and sarcastic and subtle as that of any country.
Maybe the Sydney Morning Herald could replace Glover with an American writer? They are capable of subtlety, says Glover:
The Americans believed I was seriously proposing they be tattooed against their will. Given what they thought I was saying, I guess their upset was understandable.
Let’s recap what he said – to be clear:
Surely it’s time for climate-change deniers to have their opinions forcibly tattooed on their bodies.
You just know that in 20 years’ time, when the costs of our inaction are clear, the climate deniers will become climate-denial-deniers. ”Who me? Oh, no, I always believed in it. Yes, it’s hard to understand why people back then were so daft. It’s so much more costly to stop it now.” That’s why the tattoo has its appeal.
Ho-ho. You, sophisticats can see the irony. But, oddly – nay, ironically – Glover can’t see the irony in missives sent his way:
And, boy, were they upset. TTB, from Nevada, said he had ”a couple of 9mm hollowpoints with your name on them”. Jonathan, of Sag Harbor, NY, wanted to remove my testicles, while DB wanted to remove my penis. And M. Glasgow, in an email sunnily titled ”can’t wait to meet you”, observed that: ”I will kill you so dead that your rotting body will do nothing but energise the worms and maggots that will do their part in saving the planet from morons like you.”
Stop. STOP! He-he. You’re killing us.
Apparently Gore has bought a beach property (in some emails he’s bought two, in others four), thus proving Gore doesn’t believe his own lies. Quite a few accuse me (and him) of working for what they call ”the Jews”, and mention several big companies as having financed the hoax.
Jews… Tatoos… Oh, Grud! The I.R.O.N.Y. They get it. They really get it!