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Anorak | The Biggest Legal High At Glastonbury Is Laughing At The Police

The Biggest Legal High At Glastonbury Is Laughing At The Police

by | 25th, June 2011

AT Glastonbury, the police have booked out a tent. It’s a magic show in which the Old Bill makes your legal drugs disappear. It’s called The Forensic Early Warning System. The idea is simple: you hand the State’s boffins your legal highs, they send them off to the lab located miles away and the results tell you if they contain any toxins or illegals substances. It’s the kind of flawed, kak-handed approach to drugs that guarantees one thing:  even police time gets wasted.

If these illegal drugs are so perilous, why are the kids taking them? No-one died from taking meow-moew but the panic the police, politicians and news media created around mephedrone got it banned. The result was that the kids looking to get bombed bought something else.

If all illegal drugs are made illegal, will the  drugs the kids want get safer? Will the dealer think the risk of arrest is worth a hike if price. Will he seek to make the increased risk pay by cutting the stuff with rat poison or Vim?

The police just don’t get it, do they? Police spokesman Paul Bunt tells the BBC:

“Because there are so many new drugs, we know very little about them.”

Why are there new drugs, Mr Bunt? Think… Why? Why? Think. Try to think. But Bunt is not thinking. He’s just talking:

“If we can’t identify them here on our machinery, the experts here will see if they recognize them.”

Drugs experts at Glastonbury? Well, if the detectives say so, then who are we to argue?

Crime prevention minister Baroness Browning then arrive to say the lab would “help protect young people from the real dangers posed by these drugs“.

Oh, bloody hell.

“We must send a clear message to anyone who takes so-called legal highs: You are playing Russian roulette with your health.”

Why are they playing with illegal drugs, Browning? Think. Go on. Think.

The tin lid is placed on this utter stupidity by this line in the Beeb’s report:

Meanwhile, festival organisers turned down a police request to access the festival toilets to allow scientists to test sewage for traces of illegal drugs.

Firstly, can you link the turd to the felon? And secondly, at Glastonbury, if you wait long enough the toilets soccer to you…

Meanwhile everyone is getting pissed out their head on cider. It’s legal. Alcohol is good. The State loves the stuff…

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Posted: 25th, June 2011 | In: Reviews Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed: RSS 2.0 | TrackBack | Permalink