Hollywood Is Dead: Angry Birds Movie Is Considered
HOLLYWOOD is not in rude health. People can’t be bothered going to the cinema in quite the same numbers as they once did. Quite right too as cinemas are the most joyless places on Earth with their smell of disinfectant and outrageously priced snacks.
The worst element of the movies is the films shown themselves, often being turgid, generic fluff dribbled out to saps paying a tenner-a-pop, for which they’re supposed to be grateful.
And the latest nail in cinema’s coffin is the announcement that we could very well be treated to a feature length version of the irritatingly addictive Angry Birds game.
With over 250 million downloads, someone has thought ‘Hey! That’s a successful thing! Let us ride the coat tails and make loads of money!’, despite the fact that the game itself is incredibly one-dimensional. Birds crash bang wallop into structures in an attempt to… well… no-one really bothered to work out why the birds were so angry.
According to Variety.com, former Marvel chairman David Maisel has been recruited by Finland-based game developers Rovio as a special adviser for the project.
Maisel said: “People are interacting with these characters six inches from them each time they play, and that creates an emotional connection. This is not an American thing. It’s not even a Finnish thing. It’s a global thing that’s something I’ve never seen before. It will be exciting to expand within Hollywood.”
We imagine Danny Dyer is in with a shout of providing the face for the ugly green pigs that are to get their arses handed to them by spherical birds.