Gwyneth Paltrow Says Marriage ‘Isn’t Perfect’ While Pointing At Stupid Chris Martin
SURPRISE! Being married to Coldplay’s Chris Martin isn’t all its cracked up to be! For starters, just imagine him walking around the house singing to himself. You’d either cut your ears off with pinking shears or take a screwdriver to this throat.
Of course, it isn’t that one-sided. Imagine the horror of having to deal with Gwyneth Paltrow crying every time she accepts absolutely anything from anyone, welling up and preparing teary speeches when offered a brew or whatever.
And so, it isn’t a surprise that Gwyneth says her marriage to Chris Martin isn’t as wonderful as wonderful can be, saying “it’s not perfect”.
“Chris and I have our ups and downs – a long relationship takes a lot of twists and turns. We both have a lot going on so we just have to make it work. I am very happy to support anything that Chris is doing and vice versa.
“I think the reason it’s worked so far is because we are very open with each other and communicate well. We try and make life as normal as possible.”
Jesus. They sound like the new Sting and Trudi Styler don’t they? They be bleating about their cosmic sex-life next. Oh God… if you exist… please strike them down before they start with that. So what keeps these airheads so grounded?
“Life can be so surreal sometimes – to be in the kitchen with things that are routine and mundane make me feel good. I have this thing where I always throw a dishcloth over my shoulder when I cook. Actually, Brad Pitt’s mum taught me that and it’s the best tip anyone’s ever given me.”
Christ. The one thing connecting her to the real world is a tea-towel. She probably talks to it. And cries at it while Chris Martin constantly checks that its ethically made.
It seems that, with their vegetable patch, they’re aiming to be the wealthiest Tom and Barbara Good in history. At least The Good Life had the decency to be funny.