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Anorak | Arnold Schwarzenegger And Mildred Are Phone Chums (Potential For Dirty Phonecalls And Sexting Then?)

Arnold Schwarzenegger And Mildred Are Phone Chums (Potential For Dirty Phonecalls And Sexting Then?)

by | 11th, July 2011

CHEATING filthy secret baby-having Arnold Schwarzenegger has to admit that his marriage to Maria Shriver is over. Just like his potential. He’s peaked. His best films are behind him, he bafflingly got into a political position of power and he had a really cool wife… and he’s ballsed the lot up.

And so, wiping away his testosterone injected man-tears away while looking at his family photo-album, he’s faced with a bleak future of readymeals for one and Harry Nilsson’s ‘Without Her’ for company.

Of course, he has to make peace with himself. As he can’t say “I forgive you’ out loud to himself without it sounding threatening or hilarious, he has to go about making amends with the housekeeper he impregnated, which got him into this terrible pickle in the first place.

And so, the Terminator has been ringing up Mildred Patricia Baena and crying to her, while we all cry in unison “Have you seen

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Posted: 11th, July 2011 | In: Celebrities Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed: RSS 2.0 | TrackBack | Permalink