Crystal Harris Is A Massive Liar Says Hugh ‘Rubbish In Bed’ Hefner
SURPRISED as you were about Crystal Harris dumping Hugh Hefner days before their wedding, there was always something vaguely odd about their relationship. Maybe it was the fact Hef was this famous guy and she came from nowhere. Maybe it was the 3025 year age gap?
Either way, split up they did, and now, surprisingly, Crystal Harris is saying that the Oldest Man In The World and smut magnate wasn’t too great in bed. Which is a lovely thing to say about your ex.
Apparently, sex with the Playboy founder lasted “like two seconds...Then I was just over it,” she explained. “I was like, ‘Ahhhh.’ I was over it I just like, walked away. I’m not turned on by Hef, sorry.”
She then added that:
“He doesn’t really take off his clothes. I’ve never seen Hef naked.”
Maybe that’s a good thing? Maybe Hugh has the body of a withered joint of beef? Whatever he looks like, he’s not having Harris slate him!
“Crystal did a crazy interview with Howard Stern today that didn’t have much to do with reality. Is she trying to impress a new boyfriend?”
He then, shockingly, implied that she might not be the most honest of women, adding:
“Crystal convinced me that she adored me. That was the first lie.”
Hef then grabbed his oxygen tank and blue pills, before swanning off with new girlfriends Anna Sophia Berglund and Shera Bechard. Poor old heartbroken Hef.