Mark Your Hats! Kim Kardashian’s Wedding Date Is Confirmed!
HAS everyone bought a hat? It doesn’t matter what type of hat you buy. A bobble hat will do. Even a verruca sock stretched over your bonce as a makeshift swimming cap will suffice. We need hats because there’s a wedding afoot which not one of us will be allowed to attend!
HUZZAH! It’s just like the Royal Wedding all over again!
This time, it doesn’t feature bluebloods, but rather, reality TV/sex tape star Kim Kardashian who is hauling her impressively monotone voice down the aisle to say ‘I do’, while winking at sponsors straight down camera.
And Kim ain’t mucking about as she’s wedding basketball player beau Kris Humphries on August 20th. That is less than a month away if you can’t count!
The wedding invite reads:
“Kris and Bruce Jenner request the pleasure of your company at the marriage of their daughter/ Kimberly Kardashian / To Kristopher Humphries.
“Saturday, the twentieth of August/ Two thousand and eleven/ Montecito, California/ Black Tie.”
Great! So we know where it is! Should we all gatecrash it? They won’t mind as all we want to do is crowd around her and coo, inevitably spoiling her big day.
Of course, Kim’s wedding dress will be hugely “over the top”, leaving her to wobble around like a horrible scientific meringue accident.