Big Brother’s Amy Childs’ Romp Gives Hope To The Sexually Obsessed
CELEBRITY Big Brother has now been on the cover of the Daily Star for 14 straight days. While lesser organs look away, the Daily Star sticks to what it does best: talking up its proprietor Richard Desmond’s show.
Today’s news is that Amy Childs has been in a “THREE WAY ROMP” with Kerry Katona and Lucien Laviscount.
The romp is, of course, only a sexually charged encounter if you are a pubescent youth whose exhausted the gardening section of the Argos catalogue or a saddo sat in front of the magic box waiting Desmond’s porn channels to begin broadcasting.
First actor Lucien Laviscount kissed Kerry Katona, sparking hopes among fans that a Celebrity Big Brother romance was set to steam up in the house.
Hopes raised by the Star’s news that Lavicious’s peck on Katona’s ketchup-soaked lips was a “fling”.
Now we are told:
Now he has romped with saucy Essex girl Amy Childs in the swimming pool as the pair stripped off last night and got touchy feely. The stud even made a play for both girls during the same night.
Stud is now defined as a teenager who hasn’t had sex. This, once more, give hope and solace to a huge slice of the Big Brother watching demographic.
To recap: there was no romp. Big Brother is just the same as it was on Channel 4. You missed nothing…