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Anorak News | Man Molested Vending Machine

Man Molested Vending Machine

by | 4th, September 2011

MICHAEL Aguiar, 20, of Palmetto, Florida, has been arrested. It is said that he “maliciously molested, opened, broke, injured, damaged and inserted his body parts into a vending machine at the Budick Coin Laundry.
Did he have sex with a vending machine?
Did he just pick the wrong machine?

fences

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DANIEL French, 24, is accused of making “sexual motions” towards metal railings in Leicester Square Gardens after being challenged by police. Anorak listens to goings on at Westminster Magistrates’ Court. Says Philip Lemoine prosecuting: “He said words to the effect of: ‘I’m going to have sex with that fence.’” He continues: “The gardens were locked and police asked French to leave. He was drunk and there were some sexual motions – drunken silliness – to the railings.” Oh… “French said he had a relative who was a solicitor and would teach the police a lesson.” French admits to being drunk and disorderly. He contests the allegation that he romanced the fence. Says Mr French: “That’s not right at all about the fence. I was surrounded by three big police officers. I felt I was being bullied and wanted to go home. They were pushing me against the fence and trying to provoke me. “The suggestion that I was trying to do something sexual to the railings is disgusting.” French was sentenced to serve the time he had already spent in custody since his arrest. Mr French is not believed to have enjoyed his time behind bars, although if drunk and desperate enough he might have…



Posted: 4th, September 2011 | In: Strange But True Comment | TrackBack | Permalink