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Anorak | Celebrity Big Brother: The Daily Star’s Lies And Wet Dreams Were Better Than The Show

Celebrity Big Brother: The Daily Star’s Lies And Wet Dreams Were Better Than The Show

by | 9th, September 2011

CELEBRITY Big Brother (proprietor Richard Desmond) is at its end. After 19 days straight of front-page reporting in the Daily Star (prop. R. Desmond), the paper can announce that the show’s winner is Paddy Doherty. He saw off Kerry Katona’s kidzz, ketchup and kebabs to take top spot and with it the spoils of breathless interviews in OK! (prop R. Desmond) and exclusives on Channel Five (prop. R Desmond).

Time, then, to look back and see whihc of the Daily Star’s front-page exclusies was the most factually correct:

Aug 16: “Big Bro Big Sexy Shock – Naked romps and kinky padded cell revealed”
Fact: No naked romps and no kinky padded cell

Aug 17: Jordan Busts Into Big Brother
Fact: Kate Price, for it is she, did not go on Big Brother

Aug 18: “Wills & Kate In BB House”
Fact: Kate Middleton and Prince William look-alikes sits on a bed in Elstree

Aug 19: “Amy – My Boobs Will Win Big Brother”
Facts: Amy Childs – all of her (boobs, teeth the lot) – comes fourth

Aug 22: “Big Bo hunk’s five-in-a-bed romps”
Fact: Inside the paper we learn that the hunk “aims to romp with four women in the house”. He fails

Aug 23: “Big Bro’s Big Lovers – Amy and Lucien set to be new Jordan and Pete”
Well, they don’t live together and aren’t dry humping each other on the telly. So. that’s partially true

Aug 24: “BB in New Bully Shock – Boozed-up Bobby attacks Amy”

Fact:

SCHEMING Bobby Sabel has declared war on Big Brother fave Amy Childs in a desperate bid to save himself from the chop. The hunky housemate is tipped to get the boot on Friday because he has hardly said a word since entering the house.

Aug 25: “Big Bro Amy: Kick Bully Bobby Out – Sobbing beauty pleas to Bro fans”
Fact: Says Amy:

“He’s a div. He’s a model but I don’t think he is even that good looking .I don’t like him. He pisses me off! He’s a bug, bug, bug, bug!”

Aug 26: “Big Bro’s most shocking scenes ever”
Fact: Is Bobby sweating into a cup of water more shocking than the shagging and bullying that has gone before?

Aug 29: ” Big Bror Sally: I wants Paddy For A Hubby”

Fact:

Smitten Sally Bercow wants to become gypsy hardman Paddy Doherty’s TV “wife” after they bonded on Celebrity Big Brother. The Speaker’s wife is ready to swap the Houses of Parliament for a caravan park as she trades high-flying husband John for the bare-knuckle brawler.

Yep – Sally wants to go Wife Swap…maybe.

Aug 30: “Kerry: I Quit Big Brother”
Fact: Kerry Katona does not quit Big Brother

Sept 1: “Jedward trash Big Bro house”
Fact: They push duvets onto the floor

Sept 2: “Big Bro Babes 3-Way Romp”
Fact: Amy Childs sits on a bed with Lucien (hunk) and Katona (quitter)

Sept 5: “Big Bro sex wars as Lucien Beds Amy”
Fact: Lucien sits on Amy’s bed. They do not have sex

Sept 6: “Jedward BB break down”
Fact: Jedward do not crack up

Sept 7: “Sex Tease Amy gets BB Boot – Eviction shock for sobbing telly babe”
Amy Childs not booted off show

Sept 8: “Big Bro star’s 13-in-a-bed orgy”
Fact: Darryn Lyons says “I once shared a bed with 12 girls”
Is sharing a bed an orgy?

Sept 9: Paddy’s the Big Bro winner”

FACT! Daily Star is the paper of record.

See also:
Aug 1: “Bad Boy Charlie in BB House”
Fact: Charlie Sheen not on show



Posted: 9th, September 2011 | In: Key Posts, TV & Radio Comments (5) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed: RSS 2.0 | TrackBack | Permalink