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Anorak | X Factor Victim Day: Luke Lukas Is Not Robbie Williams’ Son But Nu Vibe Might Be

X Factor Victim Day: Luke Lukas Is Not Robbie Williams’ Son But Nu Vibe Might Be

by | 3rd, October 2011

THE X Factor leads the Sun’s news agenda, as it must on a Monday. News is that Gary Barlow and Robbie Williams are not cynical middle-aged stars using the X Factor to further their own careers as they snigger up their sleeves at hapless pop pretenders in a money-driven contest. They are in actual fact top blokes.

As we are told:

 

 

EXPLOITED – Gary & Robbie BLAST TV Bosses

Gary Barlow and Robbie Williams yesterday said X Factor bosses should stop putting kids on the show.

They spoke out after viewers saw them looking worried when Luke Lucas, 16, sobbed as he fluffed his audition.

The grim, joyless spectacle of watching Britain’s talent pool, where singing shrimp dodge Botox-faced trout in brackish waters, is not as it seems. The visual grammar show in which the judges sit on sumptuous patio chairs in their well-appointed gardens looking for all the world like sadistic headmasters waiting for the next needy youth to stand before them and warble their entrance exam on oxbow lakes in the style of Justin Bieber is actually all about caring and nurture.

Gary said: “Luke is too young. It was too much for him, no wonder he cracked. Sixteen is just too young to be in a competition with this kind of pressure.”

You can get married at 16. You can join the Army at 16. But the X Factor is something else. Unless, of course, you’re 16 like: Bradley Johnson, Richard Milford  or Jordan Higo who, on account of being more shaggable than young Lukas, were pushed into a group called Nu Vibe; or Janet Devlin and Amelia Lily.

Robbie, 16 when he joined Take That, added: “If it was my son or my daughter I don’t think I’d be pushing them that early. Eighteen or 19 maybe. You’ve found yourself, you’ve left school, hung out with mates, earned some money. You’ve been anonymous and done your fun things. At 16 it takes your b******* off. I do think 16 is a bit young. But when you get an opportunity you just grab it.”

So. Sixteen is not too young. So much for the “blast.

And Robbie, if your son or daughter wanted to get into showbiz, they wouldn’t need the X Factor. It’s why the likes of young Master Lucas, his peers and the mature students at Simon Cowell’s cruel school look so desperate. They’re trying to get in to the Promised Land of at-home photshoots in Hello!, puke-fuelled nights in centre London nightspots, sex and – hey, who knows – maybe a seat at the top table where they can set the criteria for entry into their world on the telly…

 



Posted: 3rd, October 2011 | In: Key Posts, TV & Radio Comment (1) | TrackBack | Permalink