England’s Manu Tuilagi Arrested: Token Samoan Finally Accepted By Dickhead Teammates
YOU know how we told you that England’s Somoan rugby international Manu Tuilagi had been the best thing about Martin Johnson’s gang of self-aggrandising cheating twats? Well, allegedly, he’s just been arrested by Auckland police after jumping from a ferry as it was about to berth. The player’s been given a pre-charge warning for disorderly behaviour and released to the bosom of his team.
And so it is that having behaved badly Manu is now one of the lads.
Says an insider:
“It’s just a pity Manu never chose to dry his gonads on a barmaid’s cleavage and ride a naked dwarf home while belching the New Zealand national anthem. But you can’t expect too much from the guy. He’s only 20 and by the time the next World Cup comes around we do fully expect him to be stirring a pint of aftershave and cherry brandy with his genitals.”