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Anorak | Liz Jones Gives Birth To A Cream Egg: Daily Mail Used Condom Appeal Pays Dividends

Liz Jones Gives Birth To A Cream Egg: Daily Mail Used Condom Appeal Pays Dividends

by | 3rd, November 2011

DAILY Mail writer Liz Jones says he used to drain her lover’s spent condoms of semen and try to fertilise her eggs.

Tomorrow, the Mail will come with free eco-sperm (say no to plastic bags) in which readers will be invited to froth with incandescent rage. The Liz Jones Sperm Appeal will not sue sperm that contains traces of marmalade, Richard Littlejohn and, perversly, nuts.

Says Liz:

The ‘theft’ itself was alarmingly easy to carry out. One night, after sex [with Trevor], I took the used condom and, in the privacy of the bathroom, I did what I had to do. Bingo.

Unbeknownst to Liz, Trevor has replaced his own sperm with the stuff they use to fill cream eggs. Says Liz:

I don’t understand why more men aren’t wise to this risk — maybe sex addles their brain. So let me offer a warning to men wishing to avoid any chance of unwanted fatherhood: if a woman disappears to the loo immediately after sex, I suggest you find out exactly what she is up to.

No. Cream eggs, Liz. You have been stuffed with cream eggs…



Posted: 3rd, November 2011 | In: Key Posts, Reviews Comments (2) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed: RSS 2.0 | TrackBack | Permalink