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Anorak | Here’s Cheryl Cole’s Lonely Lonely Phone Number

Here’s Cheryl Cole’s Lonely Lonely Phone Number

by | 8th, December 2011

IF you’re a man that doesn’t make those unique (but funny) male sounds in the morning and have a high level of testosterone then may I suggest you contact Cheryl Cole as soon as possible.

According to those yappy assed girls over at Closer and Star magazines Cheryl is going to be cameoing in either The Walking Dead or Home Alone 3 this Christmas and she’s crying (yes crying) her little heart out with loneliness. Nobody wants her but the magazines are all saying she wants a man to share in her spotlight, her bed and with her Mom’s pickled onions.

Yes gentlemen, if you understood this to mean that your head shot is now required so that Cheryl can glue it to the cardboard groom she keeps in her garage then you’d be correct.

Come on fellas stop miserable Cheryl spending a lonely Christmas holiday filling her uterus with vodka shots and a jug of lonely tears. Call her on 07980 ******.

Don’t be silly, I’m not handing out Dial-a-Dates phone number of the century for free, e-mail admin for further assistance you cheapskates. (You may want that to read Cheryl’s management, Glenn Mulcaire or Closer mag)…

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Posted: 8th, December 2011 | In: Celebrities Comments (4) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed: RSS 2.0 | TrackBack | Permalink