Oh Just Look At That Kate Middleton ‘In Crisis’
BEING a humble fool that rarely looks up from his desk (dining room table) I have to marvel at the work of Lucy Vine over there at Look magazine. This girl sits on the hardest working pair of bum cheeks in all of Fleet Street.
For example, take her Kate Middleton “SECRET CRISIS” story this week. Who am I to laugh and titter or revel in the night when there exists around me such a magnificent masterpiece of Rimmel journalism. No, I am just not worthy.
This week our intrepid Lucy du Look took her imagination over to Buck House for a secret pow-wow with Prince William (she calls him a “source“).
Here’s a few extracts from their ‘conversation’.
On Kate being thin as a tampon string:
“I think poor Kate is in crisis about how slim she looks. She’s mentioned it before but tries to make light of it.“
On stupid girls that make shit up:
It doesn’t help that people comment on it all the time.”
On Kate’s eating habits:
“Kate can’t help it, she eats like a horse.”
” She spends hours researching how not to be ignorant in public.”
On the loo:
“Pippa suggested natural ways for Kate to relive herself.”
Note: The unnamed source has gotta be Wills, right?
( I know I know the jokes write themselves but I’m sorry Lucy – I took everything out of context – again.)