Little Mix Win X Factor As Rachel Crow Asks Her Mom Why She Never Fell Ill And Nearly Died?
ON the night Little Mix are voted winners of the X Factor 2011 and band most likely to sing a dreary single – didn’t you prefer their old stuff when they were Rhythmix? – a thought for Rachel Crow. She’s the 13-year-old who when told that America had voted her off the US X Factor sank to her knees in a manner a penitent King Herod would consider a little OTT and did a passable impression of Violet Elizabeth Bott.
Everyone cried. Well, everyone aside from the show’s host Steve Jones, the animatronic Man At Burton’s suit dummy who went down on one knee like Bruce Forsyth lining up a pro-celebrity putt with Tarby and missed.
The wonderful tear ducts were opened when Nicole Scherzinger failed at her job of judging and took it to a phone vote. Nicole just wanted the world to know that sending home a teenager was so hard. Nicole is no high school teacher. She dabbed her eyes with Rachel’s cuddle cloth and held her hands over her heart to check it was still there. Then the American pubic voted. Rachel was gone to the celebrity butter mountain.
She never had a chance. Parents hate other parents to have successful children. As soon as mom appeared, Rachel was doomed. Don’t you know you need a dead mom to win the X Factor, or at least one sat in a wheelchair…on life support…with a disease with no name. Mom, you never tried. You bitch. You f****ing bitch! If you loved me you’d be a cabbage whose only means of communication was to lick a heart on the window whenever Rachel sang.
“Mommy, you promised!” said Rachel between sobs.
You promised you’d get seriously ill!