Adele to lose weight to ‘Sex Up Imagine’ Or, ‘Becomes Less Real’
CURVY women are a very modern construct. They like to tell you that they’re ‘real women’. Not like those thinner women we’ve been imagining all along. Of course, ‘real women’ like to point at other ‘real women’ who are in the public eye and crow about how marvellously talented and real they are.
One such woman is Adele who, oddly, is obviously image-obsessed because she won’t stop talking about how she doesn’t care about image.
That is, until now. That’s because Adele has lost 25lbs in a bid to ‘sex up her image’. She even tweeted a picture of herself that showed a slimmer face and leaner torso. Does that mean she’s becoming less real and wandering ever closer to ‘imaginary’. Either way, there’ll be some quarters who will chide her for her decision, again underlining how grimly hypocritical some of the ‘curves’ brigade are when they say that people shouldn’t care about the way someone else looks.
And a source has told Star magazine: ‘She’s finally caved to weight pressure. Adele swore up and down that she was comfortable in her own skin, but she’s only human.
‘She wanted to sex up her image a bit. And she thinks she’ll get even more fashion and acting offers if she shaves off a few pounds.’
What’s more likely is that doctors have told her she needs to lose some weight because it attributed to her surgery for a haemorrhaged vocal cord. ‘Doctors suggested that less junk food and more exercise would be the all-around right thing ‘ for her health, her stamina, even her vocal range,’ the source added.
And so, in a massive betrayal to those who held her up as a poster girl for ‘curves’, Adele has apparently taken up the unspeakably awful hobby of EXERCISE. That’s right. She’s bang into pilates, power-walking and healthy eating.
How dare she?
Next week, we look at the way ‘curvy women’ don’t promote ‘curvy men’.