Antony Worrall Thompson arrested in TV shoplifting pilot
ANTONY Worrall Thompson, the oompah-loompah-sized TV chef of Ready Steady Cook fame, has been arrested on suspicion of shoplifting cheese and wine from Tesco. The Sun’s front-page headline puns, neatly:
“Ready Steady Crook”
The Sun says Henry Antony Cardew Worrall Thompson was caught “pilfering five times” in Henley-on-Thames, Oxfordshire. The paper says Thompson committed “five shoplifting episodes in just 16 days“.
The Sun then suggests that if Thompson did steal he did it because of the economy:
The recession-hit star — nickname Wozza — is said to have put some items under the scanner but sneaked others into bags without paying for them.
No shame in this, Wozza. The recession hits us all. And, then, the purchases: cheese and wine. Not crab sticks and turkey twizzlers. Money is transitory. Class is indelible.
A “source” says:
“He was ordering blocks of cheese at the deli counter, taking bottles of wine, then putting some things through the scanner but walking out with the rest. They caught him on camera doing it more than once, but had to be 100 per cent sure it was not a genuine mistake before apprehending him. Because of his high profile, the security staff could not afford to get it wrong.”
The Sun explains:
Although Worrall Thompson’s finances are said to be perilous, the frequency of the shoplifting might suggest he is suffering from kleptomania — a psychological compulsion to steal for a thrill.
Anorak has another theory: just as the housing market will kill of TV property hunting and make-over shows, it will dim cooking telly programming, in which knowing chefs create gastropubs in a rural River Cottage to wow the neighbours and being a friend of Jamie Oliver gets Jimmy a job as a TV farmer tuning out horrible food in the same time it takes the average mum to do the weekly shop and serve up supper.
Antony Cardew Worrall Thompson should seize the moment and create Occupy TV, a show directed at the anti-capitalism movement in which celebrities attempt to out-steal one another on what’s left of the High street.