An Independent Scotland would win Eurovision
The SNP wants a referendum in the autumn 2014, by which point we will all so sick of the debate that even the minority in the UK bothered to vote will be doing so just to make it stop.
But what will an independent Scotland mean? Well, nothing. It will have the same weather, same sectarianism, same crappy national football team, same interfering politicians who think Braveheart was a documentary, same deep-fried Mars bars, same booze, same bigger, richer country to the south, and the same belief that North Sea oil is the future for mankind.
On the plus side, Scotland will have an increased chance of winning the Eurovision Song Contest, be easier for Germany to invade and conquer and it’s own language: