IN honour of the media bolocks that is Blue Monday – the third Monday of January sold as the most miserable day of the entire years (one day there will Blue Monday Cards, the Blue Monday Chicken that lays Blue chocolate eggs and extra strong Blue Monday Viagra – the Daily Telegraphpresents the most awful PR-fed story of 2012.

It all adds up to a ‘workplace malaise’ that could be costing businesses as much as £93 billion in lost productivity, according to the University of Exeter.

How much are these researches on?

The research comes as a number of celebrity chefs today revealed flour-based recipes designed to help people banish the blues.

Give her flours?

Hugh Fearnley-Whittingstall and Prue Leith donated recipes to charity Spark and Mettle in support of its campaign to help youngsters “feel good about what they do”.

Donate recipes?

The recipes include an apple crumble, a marmalade muffin and a goat’s cheese and onion tartlet.

Surely blue cheese for Blue Monday?

Spark and Mettle launched in May 2011 and bills itself as an aspirations agency. Its pilot project, Star Track, works with young people from less privileged backgrounds in London, Essex, Edinburgh, Leeds and Bristol to help them follow their passions and fulfil their potential.

With flour?

Charity founder Eugenie Teasley, a graduate of New College, Oxford, said: “One of the simplest ways to lift your spirits is to do something for someone else. By baking and sharing with friends, family or colleagues, you can spread a little cheer and bolster your own mood too.”

Of do **** off. The last thing you need on Blue Monday is some grandstanding do-gooder with her happy flour bombs. Drop ’em on Iraq. They’ll be grateful…