Simon Cowell offers BGT winners a Branson Botox
“COWELL: I’LL BLAST THE BGT WINNERS INTO SPACE” – Daily Mirror
“COWELL BLASTS TV CHAMP INTO SPACE” – Daily Star
“COWELL: I GOT IT WRONG” – The Sun
News is that the auditions for Britain’s Got Talent are off and running. Stage schools, shopping precincts, hairdressers and cruise ships have been mined for acts to enliven the format.
But what’s the prize? The Star reports:
THE winner of Britain’s Got Talent will get a prize that’s out of this world – they’ll be fired into space!
Little Mix on the top of an intercontinental ballistic missile? Makes a chance from Simon Cowell winners being flushed down the pan.
Show boss Simon Cowell has promised to make the champ a shooting star by blasting them into orbit. The 52-year-old is teaming up with Sir Richard Branson, who will sponsor the series and cough up “tens of millions” of pounds for the dream prize.
Simon has already booked himself a seat on Sir Richard’s new venture Virgin Galactic, which will offer mega-rich Brits a ticket to the stars on Branson’s aircraft.
When? We’re not told. The ships have yet to carry passengers. But a winning dog, bacteria or chimp could be in. The Mirror says:
“Branson’s rocket for space tourists could be ready for lift off as soon as next year.”
The Sun says it’s due to take off this year.
Fingers crossed that it is. Any delays and Cowell could be jetting off with Steve Brookstein, Matt Cardle, Leon Jackson or last year’s BGT winner… Go on… Go on… Try harder. Rub your temples and THINK! Yes. Jai McDowell!
And he is keen for the BGT winner to join him. “I love the idea that if they are up for it they have the option of performing in space,” Simon told the Daily Star.
“It’s tens of millions of pounds but Richard genuinely is up for doing it. I am being serious, I swear to God and on my mum’s life. Don’t worry about the details, we’ll make it happen. Of course we have to think about the details. If you’re a juggler we’ll need to make heavier balls. If it had been a few years ago Susan Boyle could have been singing Unchained Melody in front of the whole planet!”
According to Branson’ website:
Tickets cost $200,000 and deposits start from $20,000.
Tens of millions?
The thrill of racing along at 2,500mph is undeniable. Shove your face into the wind and watch Branson’s Botox sort out your wrinkles.
Over in the Sun, news is that Simon Cowell “admitted he’d become too big-headed“. Literally. 2011 was “SI’s year to forget”. But reports of his death – and in June the Star did say that he was dead – have been premature.
“I got a bit too cocky. We got a big wake-up call…We went into 2011 thinking, ‘It’s all going to be easy’ and of course it wasn’t. It was the year my ego was put in check.”
Or might it be that last year Simon Cowell had it confirmed that without his presence, the X Factor is a wet, limp branding exercise, one that even he could not be bothered to watch?