Susanna Barrett sues Daily Mail and TMZ for sexualising her five-year-old daughter
MEET Susanna Barrett. You might already know her from the TV show Toddlers & Tiaras, which stars her five-year-old daughter Isabella and other decorated children in what seems to be an interactive audition for the role of Violet Elizabeth Bott in the musical I’ll Scream And Scream (Until I’m Sick).
That’s Isabella Barrett eyeing her arch rival Paisley Dick (nominative determinism?) and telling TMZ:
“Last time I was here, Paisley was trying to copy me … but MY mom doesn’t dress me up as a hooker.”
That’s Isabella Barrett singing LMFAO’s I’m Sexy And I Know It at a venus in New York City.
And this is Susanna Barrett suing the Daily Mail, TMZ and the Huffington Post for $30m. These news organs’ apparent crime was to have sexualised Isabella.
“(Isabella) did not understand the concept of sex, let alone ‘sex appeal’ and could not have been singing about her own sex appeal. It is the defendants who, through their articles, have thrust these false and vulgar characteristics on to Isabella. As a result, Isabella is now perceived sexually, erotically and pornographically, and (the stories) have placed Isabella in serious physical danger, attracting the attention of others who would seek to sexualize a child.”
Wowza! Reading about a child singing I’m Sexy And I Know It can turns you into paedo! What to do?! What to do?!!!
1. Do not read the Daily Mail. (They have form.)
2. If you see anyone reading the Mail, HuffPo or TMZ stand still an scream “PAEDO!”
3. Ensure that anyone who has been exposed to such paedo-making perversion seeks an urgent antidote, which should take the form of:
i: Chemical castration
ii. Emigrating to Thailand
iii. Starring at a photo of Prince Edward for 10 hours straight
iv. Changing your name by deed poll to Tony Blair
v. Opening a twitter account in the name of ‘Gary Glitter’
We have undergone intensive conditioning and, like most of you, can look at the video hereunder and feel only revulsion and a rising taste of last night’s bang bang chicken: