Frankie Cocozza’s talented penis wants joint billing
FRANKIE Cocozza, known to Daily Star readers as “HORNY Frankie Cocozza”, is the subject of the front-page news story:
“My 200 lovers in one year”
This is a “Shocking confession“.
Of course, it isn’t shocking. Frankie Cocozza’s penis has been the subject of an X-Factor-led tabloid cheer every since the teenager was invited to show us his arse and the names of shags inked on it. Every time Cocozza pulls his little Frankie-Panky out of his knickers, you can hear Dermot O’Leary asking, “How much sleep did you get Frankie?” and the whirr of the ITV camera crew.
Frankie’s entire celebrity is constructed on his penis. News that 200 women have got close to the celebrity organ is only shocking because the thing hasn’t pushed for equal billing and taken to ejaculating its name and a number on all and any conquests. (Bring sanitary pads, ladies, and take home and take away a token of the real talent.)
It turns out that Cocozza’s penis has not had sex with 200 women this year. The Star says that at his current rate, 200 is the target figure.
Until Frankie’s penis (Little Frankie Wankie) learns to talk, the Brighton-born lad is flapping his hole alone. Says he:
“It’s so easy to get them to shag you. After you’ve been on TV for two minutes everyone wants to get in bed with you – it’s ridiculous. But I definitely enjoy it. I’ve had threesomes and loved every second.”
It emerged last year his string of one-night stands included busty Geordie Shore babe Holly Hagan when he admitted on live TV: “I banged her.”
Little Frankie Wankie baulks and shrivels in rage. No, Frankie, it was LFW that did the banging.
Adds Frankie:
“I’m not really fussy at all. Especially after I’ve had a few drinks, I’ll shag anyone. I don’t have standards, to be honest. When it comes to older women it depends what they look like. I don’t really care how old they are – if they look all right and their bits are working, I’m in. I’d definitely shag a 60-year-old. I’d probably only draw the line at 70.”
Got ink for that line drawning, Frankie?
“I w**k three times every day. I just love it. Sometimes I’m lying there hungover and really don’t want to do it. But I know that as soon as I put on porn, that’s me done.”
Porn, you say? Like the porn shown on the Daily Star’s stablemate, Channel X, the stuff you only need one winking eye to watch..?
A career beckons for young Cocozza, and if there’s an acting role, Little Frankie Wankie may soon make his on-screen debut…
Posted: 5th, February 2012 | In: Celebrities Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed: RSS 2.0 | TrackBack | Permalink
