Anorak | Toys are not citizens of Russia so cannot protest legally says Russian law

Toys are not citizens of Russia so cannot protest legally says Russian law

by | 15th, February 2012

TO Siberia, where it’s so cold that human protestors have made way for 100 Kinder Surprise toys, 100 Lego people, 20 model soldiers, 15 soft toys and 10 toy cars.

And now they too are gone from Barnaul, Russia.

The burgers have decreed that the action figure massing is “an unsanctioned public event”. It may very well be that your Barbie Park Meet ‘n’ Greet is against the law. So too the Teddy Bears’ Picnic.

Andrei Lyapunov, a spokesman for Barnaul, tells media that he will not grant any petition for another toy protest because the toys are not “citizens of Russia”:

“As you understand, toys, especially imported toys, are not only not citizens of Russia but they are not even people.”

Toy spokesman Lyudmila Alexandrovna makes a good point:

“It probably wouldn’t be that popular if the reaction of the authorities hadn’t been so harsh and absurd…Neither toys nor, for example, flags, plates or domestic appliances can take part in a meeting.”

What to do? Well another activist, Sergei Andreev, knows that a solitary protestor needs no approval:

“We will stand up one [toy] and the rest will sit on a bench not far away.”

Anorak advises using a Weeble – or Veeble, as the Russian brand has it. Those things can stand around for hours. For similar reasons, Buckaroo, Stretch Armstrong and Tiny Tears are best employed elsewhere, although not in My Pal Violet’s call centre…

Here’s Vlad Putin and his kids:

Posted: 15th, February 2012 | In: Politicians Comment | TrackBack | Permalink