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Anorak | David Haye and Dereck Chisora’s selfless fight to rebrand British boxing

David Haye and Dereck Chisora’s selfless fight to rebrand British boxing

by | 19th, February 2012

WHERE now for British heavyweight boxing? Having been defeated by Ukrainian Vitali Klitschko on point, slap-happy Dereck Chisora started fighting with David Haye during the post fight press conference in the Olympiahalle, Munich.

Haye lost to Vitali’s brother Wladimir Klitschko last year.

Say local police:

“Police picked up Mr Chisora at the airport at approximately 10.30am (German time) and are bringing him in for the investigation. They also picked up Mr Chisora’s trainer for questioning. The police went to the hotel to speak to them but we had been informed they had just checked out. At present we do not know where Mr Haye is. We are currently looking for him. He was not at the hotel this morning and we have not seen him at the airport.”

Reports suggest that Haye swung a camera tripod violently at Chisora’s trainer Don Charles; Chisora brandished a glass bottle moments later; “Haye’s manager Adam Booth suffered a gash on his forehead and claimed to have been ‘glassed’.”

Chisora also repeatedly asked after Haye’s welfare:

“David, how’s your toe?”

Haye, famously attributed a bad toe his defeat to Wladimir Klitschko.

It’s not easy being a British heavyweight boxer. The options are either Widow Twanky, finding your ideal cha-cha weight for pro-celebrity dancing on the BBC, eating rat anus on ITV, milking boxing fans of cash on Sky, or a media carer and with it the risk of being smacked in the face by someone looking for a big money fight.

Wrestling, of course, would know what to do – it always does. Haye and Chisora would each pair up with one of the Klitschko brothers in a tag-team bout. The fight would ebb and flow with allegiances changing hands on the whim of the respective managers, ring girls would smack heads with round boards, corner men would toss in the towel and at the moment of victory relinquished kick the winner in the face. Camera tripods are fair game.

But British boxing is so much more dignified. The fighters would have to wear bowties and do it for charity. Chisora and Haye are dong their bit to make British boxing better. But unless the rules change and the sport adapts to them, we fear the noble fighters will be taken for greedy sods trying to whip up interest in a fight between two unlovable losers…

The Transcript (as repcred by the BBC’s Ben Dirs):

Bernd Boente, manager of Vitali and Wladimir Klitschko: With the bad experience we’ve had with British fighters, we will now look for other countries. Contrary to David Haye, Dereck Chisora really went for it. He really tried.

David Haye (from rear of the room): You don’t want to fight David Haye, no?

Boente: You had an offer. You didn’t accept it. Now you are out. You are out. Out, out, out. You cannot talk yourself back into the fight; you have no belts. Chisora showed heart, contrary to you. You showed your toe[referring to Haye’s toe injury].

Haye: I accepted your offer in December.

Dereck Chisora: We’ll get it on in London – be quiet. David Haye is an embarrassment, Sky Sports don’t do Box Office any more because of David Haye. He messed it up for all those young fighters coming through. I’m going to give you two slaps for that. If Haye is a fighter, he should fight me.

Haye: You’ve lost three fights in a row (actually three of his last four).

Chisora: Let’s fight.

Chisora’s promoter Frank Warren: I’ve got a great idea. If Dereck fights David, the winner fights Vitali.

Boente: Sounds like the perfect plan.

Haye: Vitali said he could knock me out, do you think you can knock me out?

Chisora’s trainer Don Charles: Be quiet, can security get him out of here?

Haye: Vitali said after his last fight, ‘I want to fight David Haye’. Where is he now? He said he wanted to fight me, I agreed the money, I agreed everything in December.

Chisora: How’s your toe? How’s your toe? How’s your toe?

Haye: You’ve lost your last three fights, you lost to Tyson Fury. You’re a loser.

Chisora: Tell that to my face. I’m coming down, tell that to my face.

Chisora leaves his seat and approaches Haye at the back of the room, where a melee ensues. Haye at one point picks up a video camera tripod and swings it.

The two are eventually pulled apart before Chisora returns to the front of the room.

Chisora: (Shouting and indicating towards Haye). He glassed me. I swear to God, David, I am going to shoot you. I am going to shoot you. I am going to physically shoot David Haye. He glassed me. He glassed me. He glassed me. I’m not having it. He glassed me.

Haye’s trainer Adam Booth approaches Chisora, his head bleeding

Chisora: (Referring to Booth’s cut) I’m sorry about that. Adam, your fighter glassed me.

Booth: I want to know who glassed me.

Chisora: As you were trying to hold your fighter away, he [Haye] probably glassed you by mistake.

Booth: You hit me with a bottle.

Chisora: David had a bottle in his hand.

Booth: No, no, David didn’t hit me with a bottle. I want to know who glassed me. Someone hit me with a bottle.

The two are separated before Booth addresses Vitali Klitschko.

Booth: Vitali, you are a great fighter but your manager is an embarrassment to the sport. Congratulations for winning.

Chisora: (Addressing Booth) Either we do it in the ring or outside of the ring. Because I want him. If David don’t fight me, Adam, I am telling you the God’s honest truth, I am going to physically burn him. So you tell him I said that. I am going to find him.

It’s a Boxing Smack Down!



Posted: 19th, February 2012 | In: Sports Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed: RSS 2.0 | TrackBack | Permalink