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Anorak | For sale: Box Canvas Print of Paul Ross (with added priceless comments)

For sale: Box Canvas Print of Paul Ross (with added priceless comments)

by | 22nd, February 2012

Here’s what the smart shoppers are saying:

Mr. M. P. Corner (Heaven) 

WOW

I’ve been looking for a 20 Inch Box Canvass of Paul Ross since my (completely inferior) 18 Inch Box Canvass of Paul Ross was damaged during a Barium Enema. Thankfully this Canvass really is excellent. The quality of print complements the sheer majesty of Paul’s cherubic face.

For a while I considered mounting a large number of these on my ceiling to create a Paul Ross canvass ceiling but unfortunately I realised that this is what my wife would be staring at during our frenzied horizontal moments, and what kind of a man can compare to Paul Ross in the bedroom? “No-one” I hear you cry!

I’ve ordered four of these now:
One of them is above the fireplace and is naturally the pride of our entire home.
On the second canvass I’ve cut out the section where Paul’s face is, and when I drive to pick up the kids I wear the canvass and pretend that I’m a famous celebrity dad, the kids simply love it.
The third is purely for recreational purposes, I’ve cut a whole where Paul’s mouth would be because my wife has demanded that we French kiss through the hole (I want to point out that I wear the canvass for kissing, not her! Although I’d gladly turn for just one of Paul’s tender mouth hugs.)
The fourth is a backup.

I. Aisthorpe 
Yesterday I was a bed ridden, drug addled alcoholic with no hope, no future.
Then I bought this.
Now I’m a bed ridden, drug addled alcoholic with no hope, no future, but with a 20″ Canvas of Paul Ross.
You just never know what lies around the corner.
I used to be a very successful insurance salesman at AIG. I had riches beyond belief: Faberge Eggs; Brut Aftershave, also by Faberge; a diamond encrusted Rolex; lime green Lamborghini; monogrammed slippers; a piano shaped toilet that once belonged to Liberace and a 16 ft pyramid of Ferrero Rocher chocolates. Some friends at the country club let me in on this secret that all the old money had canvas printed photos of Paul Ross, so I bought one at auction.

There was something wonderful and majestic about it, some people say the enigmatic smile is a knowing reference to his Merovingian ancestry. It hung for 3 years above the alabaster fireplace in my drawing room, replacing Munch’s Scream, which I borrowed from a friend who was also in the insurance business.But over time there was something unsettling about the picture. At first it sounded like it emitted a high pitched, almost imperceptible, tone, like an old TV set. Then it started whispering things to me. After a while it started telling jokes and then giving me stock tips. Eventually it recommended I invest all my money with a guy called Bernie Madoff.Now I have nothing, I get high by sucking anti-freeze from car windscreen washers, and even had to take public transport. My only possession is this picture of Paul Ross. It is my love, my life. He completes me.

It’s a swindle!
I recently purchased this poster, and while it’s lifelike, well made and had a certain, portly charm to it, I have since found out that it’s actually *cheaper* to hire Paul Ross to come over and stand against a wall, whenever you feel the need to look at him.

It may seem expensive, but I have, after some thought, replaced the family plasma television with this portrait of Paul Ross.

The hours we spend glued to his little face!!! No distracting music or screaming crowds or irritating plot twists. Just Paul, as we know and love him, and us… and (most importantly) our imaginations.

See, kids these days are overstimulated. But with our ‘Flat Screen Paul Ross’ their minds are engaged in a fascinating saga of ‘What Paul did next’ .. honestly they are glued to it! Admittedly Holly has trouble sleeping, but Im confident that things will settle down.

We put a towel over it at night.

And when we have visitors. He’s just TOO distracting 🙂

I’d advise anyone thinking of purchasing this to wait. This model has been around for a few years now, and frankly, 20″ is looking rather small these days. I wouldn’t be surprised if a 24 or even 26″ HD model is around the corner for the same price or even less, and when that happens this one will be heavily discounted. I was caught out like this when I bought a 19″ Danny Dyer box canvas print a few years ago.

Other than that, my only criticism is that it is lacking in features. An extra nose or a third eye, for example, would be very nice.

shiny, happy people holding Paul,
warmth to the cold
effortlessly cool,
like a Thermos of love.

eyes like question marks,
fearlessly probing
keeping me safe,
i return to you.

there’s no-one like you,
except for your brother
wonderland, paul in hand
canvassing my heart.

When I asked a loved one recently what they would like for their Birthday I was slightly taken aback by the immediacy and venom with which they replied ‘A canvas print of Paul Ross, and by god it better be no smaller or larger than 20 inches’.
I felt panic rising inside me, I’d already left it a little too late to find anything at all, nevermind something so specific, so strange.
Thank GOD for amazon. Saved me from either a ruined birthday, tears of anger/despair, a relationship ruined, or all of these combined
If you only buy one 20 inch canvas print of Paul Ross this year, this is the one to get.

I purchased this wonderous print almost 2 years ago & it means more to me than you can ever imagine.

In fact I recently had a horrific house fire & only had time to save 2 things – I chose this & one of the twins!

After hanging this on my wall, I noticed red marks on his face. Turns out this picture cries the blood of Jesus Christ.

It’s been a nightmare. Priests banging on my door day and night, nuns phoning at all hours. The Pope even sent me a letter on headed Vatican paper.

I don’t need all of this.

His haunting gaze has bewitched me since the print arrived and the gentle raising of the right buttock is such a delightful illustration of the understated confidence of the man. This is easily the best Paul Ross canvas I own.

This is such a great thrill! I’ve been wanting a 20″ Paul Ross canvas print for years, but have never been able to find one. 20″ is the perfect size too! 21″ would have been too big, and 19″ too small. The wooden box frame makes a delightful “clonking” sound when you hit it with a teaspoon which is a sure sign of quality, and the canvas is the most canvassy I have ever encountered. If I had a hat (which I don’t), I would take it off (which I can’t) to Amazon. You’ve made my life almost complete.

All my heart desires now, is a tennis racquet cover adorned with the face of Fenella Fudge off of Radio 2. Here’s hoping!!!

With the global recession now fully underway I did umm and ahh about purchasing this for a while but in the end Paul Ross got the better of me as he always does. My wife thought this was an extravagant purchase too far, we later divorced and whilst she did get the house, the two cars and the kids I still have my Paul Ross Canvas and couldn’t be happier.

It sits pride of my place above my television in my flat, where I now spend each night alone watching reruns of my favourite Paul Ross shows. Everyone who visits me has commented on how nice it is but I should say there has only been 1 visitor because apparently my wife got out friends in the divorce too.

I’m really glad that my canvas has maintained its value as like many here I was getting sick and tired of the counterfeit, smaller canvas prints being sold on Amazon. After numerous letters to Watchdog and a call to Trading Standards it appears they have been clamped down on which is good.

I can’t understand the complaints on quality from other members, I’ve experienced no such problems. For those of you who also own the Terry Wogan canvas as well as the Noel Edmunds one you’ll know exactly what I’m talking about.

Mr. B. Waymark
I’m so angry, I thought this was a canvas print of Jack Dee and then had to spend a fortune sending it back.
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Posted: 22nd, February 2012 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts Comments (4) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed: RSS 2.0 | TrackBack | Permalink