If Justin Bieber doesn’t grow a beard, Selena Gomez is dumping him
No, they’re not going to second-base yet, but rather, an ‘insider’ has told a very trustworthy American publication that, if Bieber doesn’t stop looking like a baby (baby, baby, ooh) and grow a beard, he’s going to find himself very single indeed. Cue: Death threats and love poems written in blood from Beliebers.
She’s apparently been joking that “if she didn’t shave her legs, she’d have more hair on them than Justin has on his.” The source continues: “Justin is worried Selena will dump him for a hunkier, more virile-looking guy. He’s even considered testosterone supplements to trigger hair growth.
“He’s working hard to become the manly man of Selena’s dreams.”
Okay, it was the National Enquirer that wrote it, so invariably, this is a crock. However, we want this to be true so we can see Justin Bieber waddling around in his soiled nappy with a little stick-on beard looking like a dodgy extra from Bugsy Malone.
Please make this happen, someone.
WAIT! This isn’t a thinly-veiled ‘coming out’ is it? We all know that, in celebrity circles, ‘beard’ has a very, very different meaning indeed.