Killer daffodils strike Scotland’s salad fans
by Anorak | 22nd, March 2012
THE Daily Record carries an interesting story that “Health and safety bosses have warned Scottish people not to eat daffodils”. Are daffodils being mistaken for fresh fruit? The paper says eating daffodils gives you “diarrhoea”. Isn’t that yellow plums? Daffodils, thanks to roundabouts and Max Boyce’s hat, are familiar. It’s oddly exciting that we can now see them afresh as object of terror and death.
Trading standards officer Steve Fox, of East Renfrewshire Council, tells the paper:
“This may be a srtange request. But we want to flag this up, especially to parents of young children who may be attracted to the daffodil’s vivid yellow colour.”
Odd, indeed, that Scots are eating raw green things sprouting from the earth. If in doubt, fry it. Batter it first and then fry it. And cover it in butter. Ea it. And vomit it up over your brogues.
Then write a letter to yourself never to listen to Government’s five-a-day nonsense and strike to eating meat at all times.
Next week: how to cope with bent tulips.
Posted: 22nd, March 2012 | In: The Consumer Comment (1) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed: RSS 2.0 | TrackBack | Permalink
March 22nd, 2012 at 6:53 pm
Our front garden had a huge pond in it and in springtime a mass of daffs, we also had laburnum trees and other more climbable trees, strange thing is we were never poisoned drowned or what have you. But then outdoors wasn’t a novelty.