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Anorak | Britain’s Got Talent 2012 Week one: Johnathan is that SuBo moment

Britain’s Got Talent 2012 Week one: Johnathan is that SuBo moment

by | 24th, March 2012

IT’S Britain’s Got Talent 2012: Week 1:  Which one will win? Which one will entertain? Which one will be in the Celebrity Big Brother House next year? And how will Carmen Electra be lynched by the mob? The Sun, told us that a judiciary without without Amanda Holden was awful:

“Their chants urging bosses to bring back new mum Amanda Holden grew so lairy..warmup man Ian Royce was forced to make an onstage appeal for calm.”

No one died. Bu one man lived. Here’s Jonathan! And Charlotte. But Jonathan needs to ditch Charlotte. Jonathan is 17. He’s ungainly, untelegenic and causes Simon Cowell to issue a pre-performance sneer on camera – like they did when Susan Boyle came on. But then – get this – he can sing. And so too can Charlotte. But Charlotte, 16, is fanciable and if Mr SuBo is going to make it is an unlikely unshaggable singer he needs to ditch the bird.

The rest:

Only Boys Aloud are the Welsh choir for kidz. Says one of them:

“As a teenage boy in the Valley’s there are not many opportunities. We basically hang around on street corners get into trouble, people start taking drugs and getting drunk and people die at a young age. I think this choir has given us a chance to get off the street corners and enjoy something that we like… if you put your mind to it you can achieve anything.”

Anything turns out to be relocating all the street-corner singers to a stage – 130 of them! – and having them sing.

Dennis Engel:  The 43 year old German sings Evanescence’s ‘Wake me up Inside’ for the judging panel.

Then his wings fall off.

The Sugar Dandies: Soran and Bradley, 40, from London, met a gay chrao confence in Florida.

Mylene says he is the “best dancer in the world”. Which world, she did not specify. But it’s not this one.

Two of a Kind are Sophie and Lauren, who are not two of any kind at all. They danced.

ToAK: “That’s freestyle dancing…”

Alesha Dixon: “No we know what freestyle dance…”

ToAK:  “No you don’t, you do ballroom!”

AD:  “I don’t play the drums but I still know what a drum kit is.”

Sam Kelly sings and plays the guitar. He’s 19. He says:

“I grew up in rural Norfolk, and farming background and never really fitted in with the working bracket of my family because I’m pretty much useless at everything except music.”

He signs a song by Addle.

Amanda Holden says, with no hint of hyperbole: “I don’t know what it was but I’ve never felt quite so moved. Yeah it was beautiful.”

The audience loves Amanda all the more. So sensitive.

Skate of Mind: Alan drops Rachel. On roller skates!

Anthony Barrett: “I’m going to impersonate Maximus and Commodus from the film Gladiator.”

Cowell: “Is that it?”

‘It’s a bit….’

Barnatt: “Crap?”

Barbara and Bradley:

She recites a poem. He does an interpretive dance.

Barbara: “We are not in a relationship, because he looks like an owl! I’m not going to date an owl am I?”

Owls relax.

 

 



Posted: 24th, March 2012 | In: TV & Radio Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed: RSS 2.0 | TrackBack | Permalink