The Conservative Teen: the magazine that saves America (and draws Obama)
THE Conservative Teen is a magazine for Conservative teens. For $19,95, you get four issues a year. The magazine supports marriage, protects the “innocent unborn” while harmonising rules, religion and law all with the defence of “individual liberties” – although not abortion, obviously, nor the right to be liberal. Other liberties. All of them. Mostly.
If the kids don’t buy the Heritage Foundation writers’ words, the publisher William R. Smith says grandparents and parents should. The kids will learn “the full spectrum of conservative principles”. Enjoy such stories as ” Is there something wrong with sex?”, Ronald Reagan – Our First Black President?” – clue: he was; he just used losts of whitenting gels to render his blackness a deep mahongany brown – and “How to draw Obama” – clue: start with the basketball and colour the rest in.