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Anorak | David Cameron’s pastry tax suits Eric Pickles

David Cameron’s pastry tax suits Eric Pickles

by | 28th, March 2012

THE Hot Food tax now extends to McDonald’s, Burger King and Greggs. One way to circumvent the 20p-in-the-£1 surcharge is to buy your treats cold or else invite butter-faced David Cameron to eat hot takeaways at his Downing Street soirees, seats at which can cost upwards of £250,000.

Cameron could add another, say, £50,000-a head to the dinner by way of la evy for any influencers who get excited about watching the Prime Minister eating a sausage roll. For another £10,000, pie face and SamCam will start at opposite ends of a one-footer and race to the centre.

It’s win-win. The taxpayer is saved the burden of paying for political parties to operate, and Dave gets to borrow Eric Pickles’ suits.

Indeed, why not open up the dinners to everyone? For £1 we all enter a lottery that entitles the winners to a week running the country: shaking hands, watching bankers eat, playing Angry Birds, shouting in the Commons, writing for the Sun about the unfairness of it all and how the media is to blame for corrupting the message and the facts, poo-pooing covert media stings as the sink of journalism, and a free flat. Runners up get to lead a political party and occupy Cabinet posts.

Of course, the rich and greedy will just buy lots of tickets and alter the odds in their favour and then seek a compliant PR man to represent them and fit neatly into their pie-dish. Someone like David Cameron…



Posted: 28th, March 2012 | In: Politicians Comments (3) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed: RSS 2.0 | TrackBack | Permalink