Ashton Kutcher to play Steve Jobs in humourless biopic
THE past 12 months has been the year of men upsetting women, but enjoying something of a renaissance with their careers on the back of it. Chris ‘knocks seven shades out of Rihanna’ Brown has seen his stock soar and Ashton Kutcher, who, allegedly, shagged a young woman in a hot tub on the anniversary of his marriage to Demi Moore has since got a rake of work.
While Demi Moore cries herself inside out while reportedly having issues with drugs and an eating disorder, Kutch heads up Two And A Half Men and, apparently, will play Steve Jobs in one of the two biopics about the late founder of Apple. Dude, Where’s My Hair Gone? in the later stages, presumably.
Of course, Kutcher has a little likeness to the young Jobs (long hair, occasional beard) and the role will see him going from vaguely wayward hippie to founder of Apple.
This movie looks to cash in on the wide-eyed devotion that greeted Jobs’ life in the last decade, and so could be something of a box-office banker, considering The Social Network (the story of Facebook founder Mark Zuckerberg) did so well.
We’re just sad that Tom From MySpace didn’t get the chance to be the star of a film, given that he sat lonely in newbies friend-feeds for so long… and for what? For Rupert Murdoch to shaft his career and leave him sat their in his little white t-shirt, inanely grinning.
Either way, we’ll have to wait and see if Apple devotees of the Jobsian persuasion will be stupid enough to queue throughout the night to get their hands on the hem of the closest thing we all got to a cult leader. Insert your own iMovie jokes here.