Anorak

Anorak | Samantha Brick: When Craig Brown and Jan Moir collaborate for the Daily Mail the results are wonderful

Samantha Brick: When Craig Brown and Jan Moir collaborate for the Daily Mail the results are wonderful

by | 3rd, April 2012

“SAMANTHA Brick” has penned an article in the Daily Mail that explains why she is hated because she is beautiful. After a few hundred words, it becomes clear that there are a myriad reasons to dislike or even hate La Brick, and only one of them is her alleged beauty.

Brick is 40 years old. Her blog informs us:

Samantha juggles life as a freelance TV consultant, journalist, writer, yogi and, of course, French housewife (still very much in training alas).

If you do not already dislike her or see her as work of parody, you’re on the wrong website.

Says Brick:

Throughout my adult life, I’ve regularly had bottles of bubbly or wine sent to my restaurant table by men I don’t know.

Because you dress like a sexually available drunk? No. It’s because “my pleasing appearance and pretty smile made their day”.

Brick goes on to list the freebies she’s been handed by male strangers – flowers, cab journeys, train tickers – and adds:

I know how lucky I am. But there are downsides to being pretty — the main one being that other women hate me for no other reason than my lovely looks.

No other reason… Not one?

I’m not smug and I’m no flirt…

This would be the same Brick who has told Mail readers:

I’ve always dressed with the express intention to please and gratify my male bosses in the workplace.

And:

If I need to secure a reservation in my local busy restaurant I will see the owner and ask him for my favoured table. We inevitably pass several minutes chatting, flirting and catching up on family life.

And:

I learned very early on in my career how to clock within seconds who the important male was in any room and pandered to him accordingly. And it paid off…

I groomed a relationship with a professor whose cousin worked in TV.

With a deadline looming she writes:

…yet over the years I’ve been dropped by countless friends who felt threatened if I was merely in the presence of their other halves. If their partners dared to actually talk to me, a sudden chill would descend on the room.

Brick had earlier told us in a previous article:

One contract I accepted was blighted by a jealous female boss. It was the height of summer and I’d opted to wear knee length, cap-sleeved dresses. They were modest, yet pretty; more Kate Middleton than Katie Price.

But my boss pulled me into her office and informed me my dress style was distracting her male employees.

Because you wanted to?

I didn’t dare point out that there were other women in the office wearing similar attire.

But were they flirty?

Rather than argue, I worked out the rest of my contract wearing baggy, sombre-coloured trouser suits.

Brick adds:

So now I’m 41 and probably one of very few women entering her fifth decade welcoming the decline of my looks. I can’t wait for the wrinkles and the grey hair that will help me blend into the background. Perhaps then the sisterhood will finally stop judging me so harshly on what I look like, and instead accept me for who I am.

Brick may well not be real. If the Daily Mail had to invent a dislikable character to epitomise the paper’s ability to trigger contempt and foment outrage and comments it would be hard to surpass Brick. We are waiting for Craig Brown to come clean and admit that he was been collaborating with Jan Moir to crete the ultimate Daily Mail writer. But he’s remaining quiet, possibly until Brick gets her own chat show or weight loss DVD.

Her argument seem cultivated for anyone to readily pick holes in and her inconsistency is legend. In one article she told us:

To my surprise, at 16 I transformed into a swan. The puppy fat disappeared, my complexion took on an enviable glow…

She then pens an article on adult acne:

As I entered my 40s, I thought the bad skin which had blighted my life since my teenage years would be long gone.

As for her yogic life with Pascal:

…six months into our marriage I began to gain weight. Nothing drastic — a few pounds, ­certainly not stones — but a sign of me ­relaxing into the happy relationship I never thought I’d find. Pascal clocked it immediately. My muffin roll was duly noted and it was suggested I needed to lose it.

Lovely stuff…



Posted: 3rd, April 2012 | In: Key Posts, Reviews Comments (13) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed: RSS 2.0 | TrackBack | Permalink