Jennifer Thompson gives Mario Balotelli 9.5 on Sky Daily Sports
JENNIFER Thompson, the former prostitute who had sex with Manchester City’s Mario Balotelli, remains the Sun’s “Wayne Rooney hooker”.
This proves that reading about sex with Wayne Rooney is more interesting than reading about sex with Mario Balotelli and that ‘Juicy Jeni’ continues to be an unnamed extra at her own shag ‘n’ tell.
But Jenny has news for other women keen to sex a footballer. She says that Mario Balotelli is a “9.5 out of 10 for the sex”, adding:
“Mario is funny, intelligent and a gentleman in the bedroom. He’s a brilliant kisser.”
Compare and contrast that with Helen Wood’s words on Rooney:
“I lay down alongside him and we both began to perform a sex act on him. But he didn’t say a word or even touch us. He never said a thing. Jennifer then had sex with him using a condom which she had with her. Afterwards, he started scratching his head again.”
High time that footballers were equipped with head cams to allow sports fans to get close to the action (and Rooney’s follicles). Murdoch’s Sky Sports and porn emporium would surely benefit from the arrival of Sky Daily Sports, a live after–hours and sometime lunch-time special adaptation of the Pro-Zone feature.
Says that new station’s pundit Jenny, 23:
“Wayne may be the better footballer but when it comes to performance off the pitch Mario beats him in every way.”
Over to you, Gary…
Jenny then relives how she and Mario met at a Manchester Indian restaurant:
…when Jenny went to the toilet she came out of the cubicle to find Balotelli standing outside.
“Then he leaned in for our first kiss. It was a nice kiss and he was quite gentlemanly. He didn’t try and get me in the cubicle or anything.”
Later, after a one-two in the box, they hooked up again:
Once there, Jenny got a nasty shock — when he confessed about Raffaella. She said: “We sat by the pool. He said something about ‘My girlfriend’ and I said ‘Sorry, what?’
“I went mad at him. He said ‘I thought you knew’ and I said ‘No, I had no idea.’ He could see I was really p****d off.
“It got quite late so we went to bed. I got into his bed and was being quite cold…
“He said, ‘No I do love her’ but he was kind of stuck for words. But then he started canoodling again and we had make-up sex, which is often the best.”
And then in case you get the wrong idea that Jenny was in it for the cash and the fame, she tells the Sun:
“The only reason I am speaking out about Mario is because I don’t want people thinking I targeted him. He did all the running.”
The Sun then delivers a misty-eyed flashback to some of Jenny’s great moments on Sky Daily Sports, all in keeping with Premier League traditions:
Kissing the Badge!
She performed a sex act on boxer after hanging around with him and his pals in clubs.
She sent sexy pictures to Kevin Nolan when he was Newcastle skipper — enraging his fiancee.
Everton star sent her lewd picture after she offered him sex for her “normal” £1,200 fee.
Jennifer Thompson: trainer, pundit, reporter, agent and scorer. The girl’s got the lot. She a one-woman league table…