Cowell bags Britney for $15m to be mental on X Factor
A big part of the X Factor’s charm is that, away from the crooning and contestant back-stories being forcibly rammed down your gullet, is the vague soap opera that dogs the judges. In the UK show, we’ve got the tension between whichever girls Cowell sits on the panel and, of course, the tension that emanates from every single pore on Louis Walsh’s tiny little head.
Over in America, the tension wasn’t quite there. Americans are, of course, unsubtle creatures who need things to be blindingly obvious before they recognise them. And so, to create cartoonish wrongery, Cowell has hired Queen Of The Damaged, Britney Spears.
He’s offering her $15million to become a judge on X Factor. We say ‘judge’ – we mean ‘spectacle’.
“Both camps were back and forth on the money but now they have finally come to agreement on the fee,” says one insider with knowledge of the pending X Factor deal. “That was the big sticking point and now, thankfully, it’s been sorted. All they need to do now is work out the smaller points. The fact the money is now set, means that there is nothing stopping this from becoming a reality.”
This makes Britters the highest paid judge on reality television, dwarfing the $12m Jennifer Lopez got for each buttock on American Idol. Meanwhile, sacked Paula Abdul and Nicole Scherzinger will be looking on at Spears and hoping she dies in a terrible accident on-set. Celebrities are like that aren’t they?
Naturally, because Britney is absolutely barking mad, she’s not allowed to have any of this giganto paycheck as it’ll go to some conservator. This is going to make for EXCELLENT television.
Image: Britney Spears the Gossip Monster – 14