Anorak

Anorak | Brad Pitt & Angelina to get married and move their 30,000 children into British schools

Brad Pitt & Angelina to get married and move their 30,000 children into British schools

by | 16th, April 2012

AFTER spending their whole relationship sneering about marriage, Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie are going to get hitched. They obviously love each other so much that, now, the only thing left to do which will show each other how achingly in love they are, is to get the government involved.

How romantic. And it isn’t like celebrity marriages are fraught, tense affairs that explode in an ugly, messy, public fashion are they? Fingers crossed.

Of course, being Different From Other Celebrities (trademark, Johnny Depp), the pair won’t be getting married in America because it sucks and has absolutely no culture. And so, they’re going to go and tie the knot in France this summer, doing their best to focus on wine and castles, rather than the seething racism that made France what it is today.

Then, after that, they’ll be moving to England, focusing on castles and countryside, rather than noticing the seething racism that made the British empire so bloodily successful in the past. Hurray for Europe! Sunny France is obviously a lovely place to get hitched, but England? With all that rain and terrible dentistry? It appears

You have already read 1 premium article for free today
Access immediately the premium content with Multipass

Or come back tomorrow



Posted: 16th, April 2012 | In: Celebrities Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed: RSS 2.0 | TrackBack | Permalink