Scumbag Steve’s open letter to Annoying Facebook Girl – meme to meme
BECAUSE memes are people too, Blake Boston – aka memeville’s Scumbag Steve – has reached out to the meme community and penned a letter to Annoying Facebook Girl. Her name, we do not know. But for now let’s call her Violet Elizabeth.
Boston is here to help. He understands his good fortune. You can spend an age concocting an alter ego that will turn you into a celebrity. Sacha Baron Cohen worked hard to create Borat and Ali G. He did well. So too did Steve Coogan with Alan Partridge. Barry Humphries gave us Dame Edna. But what of Hale & Pace, who in the pre-internet dark age created The Management, Rowan Atkinson was Mr Bean and Jim Varney launched Ernest on an unready world. All were horrible. All required the comic to be horrendously unfunny in a bid for fame and popularity.
It was pathetic.
Then Blake Boston slaps on a baseball and a dog’s bedding arrives, and in a trice he’s Scumbag Steve. And he’s a hit!
And here’s his message to another internet celebrity:
But here’s what I need you to know. When you go off to college, and you’re walking down the hall and a group of kids see you and scream, “Oh my god it’s Annoying Facebook Girl,” don’t cry. You see. Some people can’t distinguish the internet from real life. There are people who refuse to believe my name isn’t Steve and that I am not really the scumbag (well not all the time, that is). Just remember who you are. And that you know you’re a decent kid.
Scumbags write letters. Now read on:
You’re going to be in shock for a while, when you see what people have written. But the most important and self-preserving thing you can do is know that it’s not you. You can’t take this personally. I’ll say that again, you can’t take this personally. Hell if I did… well let’s not go there.
The part that will suck though is that there will always be those people that somehow think YOU did this, that you made the meme, and that you could stop it if you wanted to. That you have some control over it. You don’t. The internet birthed you and they’ll decide when you (the meme) will die.
There will also be those people who assuage their guilt by telling you how great it is, how lucky you are to be a meme. Just smile. What they are really saying is, thank god it wasn’t me.
And ask yourself this: what would Jesus do?