Cambridge University’s Caesarian Sunday creates Government change of heart on public sex and marijuana
The Telegraph is aghast, telling its readers of “stripping, vomiting, and drinking”. In one episode that a less serious paper might call “chilling”, “revellers vomited just metres away from where young children played”. Metres! The Telegraph readers are outraged. Yards! It’s yards!!
The young children are epitomised by the only child cited, the one belongong to a Tracy Burton, 31, from Cambridge, who says:
“It totally ruined our afternoon and my four-year-old now says he doesn’t want to go back to the park.”
Over in the Mail, the larks are “shameful”. The paper speaks to a horrified mum, who also happens to be called Tracy Burton:
Visitors to Jesus Green, including many with children, were subjected to seeing students fighting, stripping off, vomiting, passing out and urinating in bushes and flower beds.
These horrors are duly broadcast to the Mail’s readers, some of whom are as young as 63.
What does it all mean? Well, one day in the future every elite student geared for leadership will have had photos of themselves being drunk, stoned, naked or fannying about published in a newspaper and on Facebook. This will lead to either a crisis in Government as pasts come back to haunt, or a dramatic shift in the legalisation concerning marijuana and sex in public places. Party on!