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Anorak | What’s the biggest rip-off concert you’ve ever been to?

What’s the biggest rip-off concert you’ve ever been to?

by | 15th, May 2012

WHAT’S the worst concert you’ve ever been to the biggest rip-off? We’ll get to R. Kelly and his turning the fans into a dairy herd soon enough. First, a personal story. Anorak once went to see Desmond Decker at the Sir George Robey in Finsbury Park, London. The place was packed with Trojan Skins, Two Tone fans and a few less enlightened hooligans. After almost two hours of waiting for Desmond Decker to appear, the singer shambled out before a now very tanked-up crowd. He sang about half a song badly and then wobbled all over the shop. The highlight of the evening was a friend of mine, who by now so utterly plastered he was almost unable to stand, vomiting onto the stage, a fleck of his chunder hitting Decker on the leg. Decker just swayed on. And then he shuffled off. And that was it.

Marc Campbell tells the story of another short and memorable gig in Austin, Texas, where R. Kelly performed for 75 seconds. Fans paid up to  $950  to see the singer perform what amounts to a long yawn.

Devon Tincknell was there :

Last night, I went to see R. Kelly at the Mansion, a strip club in North Austin, and it was one of the biggest scams I’ve ever experienced. Sure, there were moments leading up to the show where I wondered, “R. Kelly is playing at a strip club I’ve never heard of and general admission tickets are only 30 bucks? That’s almost too good to be true,” but I never expected it to be as worthless as it turned out. Being led into an alley by a hand drawn cardboard sign that promised a “Free R. Kelly concert” and then being beaten with a brick and robbed would perhaps have been more satisfying; at least you could file a police report.

Like most modern frauds, this story begins online with an Eventbrite page selling tickets for “An Intimate Night w/ R. Kelly (Mothers Day Weekend).” Tickets ranged from $30 for general admission all the way up an escalating price scale caste system of VIP and celebrity room statuses to the ultimate baller package of $950 for a super-duper-ultra-pimp-VIP bottle service table accommodating eight people. It was a little odd that the R. Kelly of “Space Jam” soundtrack fame-and-acclaim would be playing a remote strip club rather than say, the Frank Erwin Center, but it seemed plausible. Maybe people had finally lost interest in the plot line of “Trapped in the Closet” and Kells couldn’t pack the house like he used to. I mean, if they’re selling $950 tickets it’s got to be a real R. Kelly concert, right?

My stomach dropped a little when we showed up at a swanky strip club near the junction of 183 and 290 and right past the entrance was a sign proclaiming “NO REFUNDS.” My fellow concert goers and I joked that they were just going to play us some R. Kelly music videos, but once we saw the room we were too excited by the idea of seeing R. Kelly perform up close and personal to really believe this could all just be a rip off. R. Kelly’s legend is so great that Aziz Ansari does a bit where he simply describes going to an R. Kelly concert. And here we were, about to watch the man perform on a stage five feet from us. A stage with stripper poles on it.

Doors opened at 9 p.m. and we

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Posted: 15th, May 2012 | In: Music Comments (2) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed: RSS 2.0 | TrackBack | Permalink