Police rescue constipated man – truncheons drawn
TO Canada, where police are responding to an emergency call. A woman has heard the noises of pain emerging from a Victoria property. She has dialled 911.
The police are at the scene. They have rapped on the door but no-one has answered.
The officers break in. Deputy chief John Ducker explains what they saw:
“When questioned about the amount of noise he was making, the man explained that he had been essentially (in his own different words) on the toilet having his morning constitutional but he was done now.”
The police stood down. This was no job for wooden truncheaons and metal nightsticks. A few words of advice, a saucer of ruffage and a warm and wet flannel furled manfully about a biro would suffice…
And turn up the radio: