Georgia Davis hid Saddam Hussein’s WMDs and fat from her parents
“I CAN’T STAND UP, MUM”
Davis is her mother Lesley’s carer. If she can’t stand up, how the hell did she get the job?
The Sun’s Sharon Hendry is the woman on the fat beat. Having see her apparently working Davis like a ventriloquist works their dummy, Hendry tells her readers that the 63-stone teenager’s dad Arthur heard the youth cry out: “Mum, I can’t stand up.”
Arthur Treloar, 73, sobbed: “It breaks my heart. She was in so much pain. It’s all MY fault.”
Mr Treloar is just continuing the process of turning Georgia Davis into a celebrity. Fat and jolly Dawn French is now slim. Russell Grant shed pound on Strictly Come Dancing. Darts players have lost the weight and the beers. Fat people are no longer figures of fun and joviality, but victims waiting to be cured by a hard-bodied drill instructor for our entertainment. Top Tory Eric Pickles, a man who was poured into his suit and forgotten to say ‘when’, is not biting the tabloid hand. No-one is fat in soap operas since EastEnders‘ Heather was murdered. So, it’s left to Georgia Davis to be the country’s most recognisable fatso.
Says Arthur, of Aberdare, South Wales:
“It breaks my heart to think of what poor Georgia has been through. She has been gaining weight steadily ever since she returned from fat camp in America. But over the last two or three weeks she was finding it harder and harder to stay mobile. Most days she would stay in her bedroom watching American Idol on telly or messaging friends on the computer.”
“However, she would manage to come downstairs to eat or chat to us by sliding on her bum.”
How Georgia got back up the stairs, we’re not told. Physicists will be intrigued.
“Georgia had been in terrible pain for a long time but as usual she was trying to protect me and her mum so she kept it from us.”
You’ve got a 63-stone teenager who can only move by bouncing on her arse like a skid-marked dog across the living room rug and you think she’s hiding her discomfort from you? The cunning wench. What else is she hiding up there in her room? Shergar? Saddam Hussein’s WMDs?
“But when she couldn’t get downstairs she had to finally confess. She tried so hard to come down on her bum as usual but couldn’t make it because of the pain of the sores and the swelling in her feet.”
Davis’s mum and dad are not looking good, are they? Sure, they couldn’t get the buffalo meet Georgia ate at fat camp in the USA – a trip funded by her media appearances – but if she couldn’t move how did she manage to shop for and scoff 13,000 calories a day? Was the overspill from the European Butter Mountain under her bed?
Image: A general view of a specially constructed ramp at a house in Aberdare, south Wales which was used to take 50st teenager Georgia Davis out of her home into a reinforced ambulance.