Wayne Rooney spies on England with fibre optic hair? The Ola Billger tapes
WHO is the “SPY” in the England camp at Euro 2012? The Star and Sun both lead with Ola Billger (he’s no Anna Chapman) a journalist with Sweden’s Svenska Dagbladet who used binoculars to observe England at the Hotel Opera in Kiev. He, as the Sun says, “secretly watched as boss Roy Hodgson used a projector screen to explain key tactics” to the England team.
It really is like schoolteacher talking to his class.
The Sun adds:
For 40 minutes, he jotted down details about how Hodgson wanted his team to defend free-kicks and corners. Billger then passed on the information to the Swedish camp.
The game ended 3-2 in England favour, with both the Swedish goals coming from free kicks. Did Sweden’s heads-up on England’s tactics help them to score twice? Or was it wall down to the simple fact that England are pretty rubbish at defending freekicks around the box, and you can’t teach Ashley Young to mark his man (see Teach Your Cat To Play The French Horn modules 1-7).
“I just happened to look out of my third-floor window when I saw Roy Hodgson through a glass roof below. I realised I was watching his team briefing and slide-show so decided to take a closer look with my binoculars. I was able to make detailed notes before I think I was seen and a blanket was put up to stop me looking in. But by then I knew which English players would be marking which Swedes when defending corners and free-kicks. England decided to lay all their secrets out before me. What was I supposed to do — look away? I called the Swedish camp straight away and they seemed delighted.”
While the Sun leads with photos of Billger, the Star scream “SPY IN ENGLAND CAMP” alongside a picture of Wayne Rooney. Can it be that Le Roon has been supplying secrets to the enemy? Is Rooney’s new hair a disguise? Has Rooney been turned by the Ukrainians, England’s next opponents? Is his new hair the last word in fibre optic technology, relaying messages to Kiev?
Much to ponder, not least of all the shocking news that England players now spend their hotel time sitting in conference rather than high fiving each other as they spit roast glamour models. Shocks aplenty…