Barack Obama and the marijuana toking Choom Gang – Ruby Dreams of My President
ZOMBIE CANNIBALS are about to run legal in Barack Obama’s Chicago. The city has voted to decriminalise minor marijuana possession. Possessing cannabis is illegal. Now, however, owner will get a fine. Chicago joins Seattle, Pittsburgh and Philadelphia is approaching sense.
We’re still not there yet, though. The decision to fine and by how much will be left to the Chicago police service. Get caught holding less than 15g of weed and expect a fine ranging from $250 to $500.
The move was brought by Barack Obama’s old Chief of Staff mayor Rahm Emanuel. He was aided by Chicago police superintendent, Gary McCarthy, who said most of the 20,000 yearly arrests of marijuana possession create criminal cases that are dropped. This new way frees up police time to chase actual criminals and count all that money from fines, an estimated $7m.
So. As Chicago finds a legal way to tax illegal marijuana, we look at President Obama. Did he inhale?
Bill Clinton famously didn’t: “When I was in England, I experimented with marijuana, and I didn’t like it. And I didn’t inhale it, and never tried it again.” Ronald Reagan opined “… smoking even one marijuana cigarette is equal in brain damage to being on Bikini Island during an H-bomb blast.” George H. W. Bush stated: “… we’ve got to get after the users more. We’ve got to change this whole culture.” George W. Bush smiled. Gerald Ford asked for the question to be repeated before opting for “the middle one”.
What did Obama do? A note in his 1979 high school yearbook offers:
“Thanks Tut, Gramps, Choom Gang, and Ray for all the good times.”
“Tut and Gramps” are Obama’s maternal grandparents. Who are the “Choom Gang”. What a “Ray”?
David Maraniss has studied the evidence of Obama’s early life and written a book about it. In The Story, Maraniss claims that the Choom Gang was the group who got goofed in their “Choomwagon”, an old VW bus. Ray was “a long-haired hippy who worked at the Mama Mia Pizza Parlor not far from Punahou and lived in a dilapidated bus in an abandoned warehouse”. Ray was a “freakin’ scary” dealer who flogged Maui Wowie, Kauai Electric, and Kona Gold.
Obama was a major stoner, allegedly. It’s that big news? When asked if he inhaled, unlike Clinton, Obama offered:
“That was the point, wasn’t it?”
Others clue to Barry’s green credentials are:
1. He appointed Kal Penn to the job of Associate Director of Public Engagement. Penn played Kumar in the 2004 slacker hit Harold & Kumar Go to White Castle.
2. Obama invented the “Total absorption” smoking technique. Inhale. Then wait as long as possible to exhale.
3. Obama liked “Roof hits”. You smoke in the Choomwagon with all the windows shut.
4. The impatient Obama who scream “Intercepted!”, and take the joint before his turn.
5. Obama and the Choomers would take the Choomwagon up Mount Tantalus to the “pumping stations”. There. they get goofed and listen to Stevie Wonder, Aerosmith, Blue Oyster Cult..
6. Obama’s pal Russell had flipped his Toyota in a road race with the Choomwagon. — had somehow managed to flip his car. Obama had been riding shotgun. Laughing hard, Obama said: “You can’t drive for shit.” Obama then made off in the Choomwagon. Russell was left to deal with the police. Alone.
7. Maraniss says the Choomers were “decent students and athletes, who went on to successful and productive lives as lawyers, writers, and businessmen”.
So. As the law on marijuana changes, the a book about Obama the puffer emerges. The youth get excited. And Obama gets elected.
Smoking drugs doesn’t dull the sense – it makes you sensible…
Spotter: Chris Ayres